Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, my boyfriend added me to his friends' private Whatsapp group, after weeks of asking him to include me in more of his life. It turns out almost all they do is post pictures of their shits and rate them. There is nearly a year's worth of pictures. FML
Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating on him and talking to other guys in a Facebook group that’s literally called, "A group where we all pretend to be ants in a colony." When I showed him what it really was, he dumped me for participating in something he said was so stupid. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend added his ex on Facebook and Instagram, all within a few days. Lucky me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to go on my boyfriend's Facebook to change his status. While in the process, his account received a message. Turns out he's planning on hooking up with his ex-girlfriend/one of my friends and is definitely over me. How's that for snooping around? FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on Facebook called "Guys who are proud of their girlfriends". I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying, "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx." FML
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Top comments
KnFML 5
ouch! I dont get why some people are such jerks squirting at their gf's eyes
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
hahaha I'm sorry for you OP but that's a tad funny. tell him "finish somewhere else or I'm spitting it back."
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Comments (102)
bigdiesel 1
first. haha
rbond93 4
**** you, ur one of many idiots that waste comment space by saying "first"
reyemrein 0
FHL for both having a facebook and taking it seriously
kit_kat14 0
I'M NOT A MAN! I'M 100% WOMAN! ;D
do20ss 4
u should b a woman with a mouth like that...golf ball...garden hose...I'm just sayin I bet ur ugly
emilymarien 0
agreed to #13.
bunny911 16
to #35 ur gender sign on ur fml says male just to let you know
Melkezidech 0
Gay people can't swallow?
ladida94 0
uuuuummmmmm thanx for sharing?
rogerdodger777 0
as do I face book is a waste
boyguydudemalema 0
you totally deserved it for not swallowing.
majones 0
I whipped it out, cleaned it off, and stuck it in her eye. And by "it" of course I'm referring to a contact lens. It must have got dirty. ;)
bettadenne1 0
haha props bo burnham =]
JAT070 0
if ur gonna suck it might as well swallow
kally2010 0
jeez it's not that bad to swallow god suck it up !! lol ;)
KnFML 5
ouch! I dont get why some people are such jerks squirting at their gf's eyes
MikeStern 1
You mean bf, OP is a man
KnFML 5
wow o_O I didn't realise OP is a male, so that means it was gay sex lol
Sirin_fml 47
Oh, here we go...
DemonChicken 0
go down the comments and you will see that kit kat said that she is actually 100% female
whitley1031 0
I am REALLY confused, is OP a dude or a chick?! And this isn't an FML, ur just taking this situation way too seriously. If he told u he takes f-book srsly, u might not wanna be w a computer nerd such as him. Just sayinn....
spiderman0606 0
He didn't tell her he takes facebook groups seriously. She found out because it actually happened to her. Or atleast, that is what the FML is leaving us to assume.
awesomechica1229 5
you should just tell him: "squirt it somewhere else or you can find another woman to suck your tiny dick!" ; )
dorkside_fml 0
63 just to let you know, without computer "nerds" there would be no fml, facebook, tv, or cell phones. plus have you not grown past stereo typing yet?
cooki3monst3r77 9
HOT
greenlime_fml 3
#115 Theres no need to get so deffensive...just relax :D
isreal 0
so wat the hell did he do
Rosalie_Haostn 0
haha dorkside that's great. font you love ignorant people? I hate stereotypers. <----not sure that's a word...oh well.
majones 0
*stereotypists. You're welcome.
whitley1031 0
@115: i didnt mean it like that, tard, i meant if he spends the majority ofl his time on facebook, u might not wanna be w him dont be all over-defensive, no one likes that shit
luvmuffin10 0
So he stillenjoued it
HeyThereGorgeous 0
Maybe OP's boyfriend isn't a facebook obsessor, maybe he's just serious about that topic. Typically you only join a group if you agree.
greatsarcazm 0
Lol OWNED!!!
Kondustra 8
>COMPUTER NERD >FACEBOOK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA LOLWUT?! gtfo. now
Lolzasaur1337 0
seeing as HIS dick is in YOUR mouth, you can probably do worse things to him in return
venom1996 0
It's a guy their gay
NoWayLady 13
Hehe good luck!!
yoyodog27 5
Ya but he said squirting in HIS gfs eyes
crudeandrudeguy 29
@174- If nobody likes that shit why are you the one getting downvoted? "Tard"
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
hahaha I'm sorry for you OP but that's a tad funny. tell him "finish somewhere else or I'm spitting it back."
Conker37224 0
win
Repttar 0
this is sick. it says the op is a guy. I threw up a little...
idk_what_2_put 0
sounds like a keeper
jayjaysmokerson 0
hahaha that's great
M4V3R1CKR13 0
It says here that your a guy awkward SWALLOW
breenarae25 0
omg ops a dude....akward
anyagrande 31
Pretend to swallow and then spit it back in to his mouth when you kiss
adamsk1 0
bite it off lol
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
no way do like I said and spit it back. much more practical
Conker37224 0
and is much more realistic cause biting it off will just **** the OP
adamsk1 0
bull shit!! if a dude is going to be that insencetive then he should lose his manhood
do20ss 4
naaaa don't bite it off, don't spit it back(cuz that's porno shit)(and just nasty) if u don't like it n ur eye, don't put his junk n ur mouth. problem solved
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
and maybe if your so stupid for spelling 'insensitive' wrong you should lose your dick too ;)
rosesareblue15 0
#42, agreed. if only you could high five over the internet.
icametodance 3
#43 Maybe you should lose your dick for correcting someone's spelling when you don't know the difference between your and you're. :)
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
god dammit I hardly ever screw those two up. touché, I will admit when i have been defeated.
kyonichii 4
Finally, someone on FML who is actually admitting their grammar mistakes!
do20ss 4
101 *high five*
adamsk1 0
ok so here's the deal... you give head, you get prenut in your mouth, you swallow b/c you think it's your own spit, so therefore you're swallowing anyway... just a little FYI in case swallowing grosses you out. your man shouldn't ask such a thing from you anyway. that's a privalage not a right. my suggestion, on a serious note, quit giving head for a while and see how that makes him feel! yeah Adam I can't spell very well... that comes with dislexia! douche!! and thanks to the person that defended me!
bigpapi210 0
a girl should always swallow! ;) right ladies?
sugarbabyxoxo 2
bigpapi210, yes... yes we should XD hahahah
TheSexynator 0
but OP is a man :X
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
haha sugarbaby deserves fml user of the year
ThatOneAdamKid24 0
cicy hvuopyu 2 pretty girls who like to swallow? wow haha. semen also whitens teeth!
purplemnm 9
swallowings good.. now you're gonna gouge your eyes out huh?
xGet_Over_It 0
@purple why did you have to ruin their conversation?
Jay4o9 0
wow lol :)
natsaysheyyy 16
Agreed, girls should always swallow...as long as we get a bomb eating afterward.(;
cambition_fml 0
wow. fyl dude. y the damn eye tho???
snowking_fml 0
maybe she should swallow so it wouldn't have to go in the eye
DeadPixel4 29
Op is a guy. He's gay.
logand 3
create a facebook group " my boyfriend's best friend is really fantastic in bed !"
paramorefan125 0
ahahaha win!!
MadeOfAwesome 1
LMAO XD
michelleissexy 0
WIN
Raheemdplayer 7
'Wow hes a guy too', sooo? lol anyways, errgh just dont do that to him anymore then, or sweet revenge? Or should I say salty revenge? I dno
kit_kat14 0
I didn't mean to put it as a man! I am 100% female! lol!
TheSexynator 0
dats wat she said! oh wait..
EllyH 0
haha, either way. You should dump him. Love and Respect is the Key. Dump him.
boopityboppity 11
As opposed to 95% female?
majones 0
@105 Some people have a penis and a ****** so it's good for her to clarify the percentage.
whataloadofbull 0
Sexynator, you do know that you've completely misused Thats What She Said?
rhythmbandit 0
dump the bitch