Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
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Top comments
thoughtcriminal7 3
Is your boyfriend two years old? What a dumbass. Try dating someone who acts like an adult.
MrBoredGuy 1
don't ever get a vibrator...
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Comments (396)
pinkspaceboundro 0
sounds like someone has a mental illness!
izzey 1
what is wrong with him?
TADspace 30
OP, You need to get a new boyfriend.
chimcharx3 15
my ex did that. only it was a piece of paper I named Julio.
ThickHead 0
break up with that freak.
iyazwoodfle 4
he's a keeper.
shotgunsinner4 0
you both must be about 10 yrs old..
holdengurl18 0
18
thepatty8474 10
dudes got probs no offense, n thats kinda cute tho :D
AloysiusWeasley 15
Tell him it isn't working out because your stuffed critter understands you better. On a more serious note, run away.
AnneFTW 17
Stop overreacting, this is his way of luring you into sleeping with him. He's trying to show you that he'd beat up any guy that would sleep with you (this doesn't necessarily mean he really likes you though, it sounds like he's just desperate for sex - don't give in!)