Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
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Top comments
thoughtcriminal7 3
Is your boyfriend two years old? What a dumbass. Try dating someone who acts like an adult.
MrBoredGuy 1
don't ever get a vibrator...
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Comments (396)
philliesbabex0 0
how oldd 5 come on now my boyfriend is even more matture
sparxva 12
Is the boyfriend's name Joel? I went to college with someone who couldn't grasp that stuffed animals don't have feelings. Lose the loser boyfriend.
sparxva 12
Just to repeat - dump the boyfriend because 1) he has severe jealousy issues, and 2) he's crazy as spit on a griddle.
BeachSurfer94 0
the guy spears to have problems
chaychay254 0
haha mine does that to, but it's mainly because it's a giant Teddy bear from one of my exs
pink_raindrops 26
Lol I think your boyfriend is a bit more justified than the OPs, unless hers is from an ex as well. Keeping that on your bed shows that you still care about the person alot. It probably makes your boyfriend think you have some feelings for him still. It's ok to keep things from past relationships, but if he constantly sees it, it could be like a slap in the face for him.
hateevryone 15
like, really? grow up. its just a damn object
courtezglenn 0
and u call dat a boyfriend
kay729 7
haha that is legit the funniest thing I have ever heard
yasssx3 6
LMFAOOOO THIS FML MADE ME PEE MYSELF ;)
vettle 6
you need to leave! this will only get much worse!