Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea for an hour in order to collect enough liquid for a sample. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML
Today, I dissected a baby pig. All I could think about was Wilber from Charlotte's Web. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
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Top comments
Mysanitywins 10
You can't see the OP's name? Derp
ImaWiseGuy 5
I guess that's how you rectify a situation...literally...
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Comments (306)
maddy1028 0
that's a shitty situation!
5t3ff1k4h 47
...Really? Whatever happened to originality?
TaylorTotsYumm 10
It went down the shitter.
cldean24 4
...Really? You are being a bitch for no reason?
5t3ff1k4h 47
You think that's being a bitch? :S How sheltered are you? Sorry, but the 'shitty situation' jokes are really old and aren't funny. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this. The person who responded to me (it went down the shitter etc) had a funnier joke because it wasn't overused. Excuuuuuuuse me.
creedaddict 9
#1 reason I don't like pets
Fishfanatic 7
If this is one of those "house" guinea pigs that's been allowed anywhere near carpet, electricals, household furniture and other things it should be nowhere near, I really would say YDI OP, and FYL to the guinea pig. There is no reason for gut impaction if the animal is fed plenty of fresh grass, which comprises most of their natural diet, as well as other suitable vegetable matter. Guinea pigs and rabbits should not be kept indoors unless there is an astoundingly good reason for it. ( predation is not a good enough reason or even a problem, if you actually bother to secure your gardens and enclosures correctly - aimed at those who would screech about predators. )
mendes1987 0
no guinea pig is worth me manually cleaning it's asshole! haha
rubysibree 0
As a guinea pig breeder of 10+ years, I can assure you that this will not be necessary for his entire life, unless it's already 4+ years old because it probably won't be around too much longer anyway. If you want to try and solve this problem, give him hay with every feeding, it will make the consistency of his poop harder and it won't get stuck. Do some research before acting like this is such a horrible curse, many worse things can happen to an animal. If you are not willing to put in the time to properly take care of your animals, you should not have them.
theswag 0
guinea pigs are the worst animals to keep as pets anyway.
rubysibree 0
Also, to the dumbass who said it was alright to have GUINEA PIGS outside, please go to guinealynx.com and read up on environments. Guinea pigs are easily susceptible to heat, and can become affected by heat stroke in a matter of MINUTES. If you want to kill your animals, please continue to be ignorant but do not ask for any sympathy.
metallicshadow 16
send it to Peru, they'll make a nice dinner out of it
jazziness 12
F your guinea pig's life
Mau5Trap 0
fyl? more like f the guinea pigs life. poor thing