Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea for an hour in order to collect enough liquid for a sample. FML
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML
Today, I dissected a baby pig. All I could think about was Wilber from Charlotte's Web. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
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Top comments
Mysanitywins 10
You can't see the OP's name? Derp
ImaWiseGuy 5
I guess that's how you rectify a situation...literally...
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Comments (306)
Booda13 0
I know putting animal isn't cool but I mean this could be an exception
metalhead5564 0
If there is a chance to save it, take that chance. I'm sure you would do the same thing for your own child.
mortimour 0
ur pet is a rodent, get over it.. Eww YTDI
metalhead5564 0
I recently had to get my beloved guinea pig put down. It was a horrible time for me. You may think that they are unintelligent and only care about food, but they are most definitely not. All the guinea pigs I have ever had have been smarter than an average dog or cat and have been very, very affectionate. Guinea pigs are rodents. That is true. But they are intelligent and loving. They are not disposable pets that are meant only for feeding to snakes either. They have just as many feelings as we do, they are just in a different body. People mistreat them and act like they are worth nothing like you do. I'm pretty sure they have more of a heart than you do. Please in future consider that all creatures great and small are worth saving and looking after.
cubby1331 0
kill it and eat it
j_cat187 20
i have solution but its rater harsh put it out of its misery
GearJamminHank 3
Sounds like snake food to me
metalhead5564 0
You sound like a heartless bitch to me.
j_cat187 20
sounds like you support animal suffering. chop it's head off with a shovel (most humane with minimal pain).
roblaycle 3
kill it
sleepingheart 0
Just kill it!! it will be easier on you and the pig
thatonedame 6
that's what happen when you have a rodent for a pet. they eat those nasty things some parts of the world. make roast giunea pig with some carrots, onions and potatoes and have it over with.
death008 0
grow some balls and put it sleep. your pet should not suffer because you can't handle living without it.
alexFYL 11
You probably have some other options... different diets, for one. If not, you take a little syringe with a rubber hose (instead of a needle attachment), and mix a tiny amount of regular, mild, bleach-free dish-soap in with water, inside the syringe... and yes, you guessed it, squirt a little amount up there. A guinea pig enema. Your vet can probably help show you a gentle way to do it.