Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Alexa, play "Confusion" by New Order
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Congrats!
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
How very dare you?
Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
Dodged a bullet
Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
Top comments
GoddessDigi 12
Aww, that really sucks... I remember having to tell everyone there wasn't a baby (but in my case it was a miscarriage). Have you guys tried a fertility clinic? Also, hysterical pregnancy doesn't mean she's a nutjob. She really wants a baby (and some women who don't experience it, as well) so it's not really weird for her to experience this, if she was hoping for it.
TrekkieGirl 0
@ #1, I agree. OP, why the heck would you have already told family and friends that you're expecting if you clearly hadn't gotten a test done? Most people wait a few months before saying anything. Also, if you're husband is relieved that you are not pregnant, that should tell you he's not ready to have kids. Which you shouldn't ignore! There is more to life than having kids. Find a hobby, because your fixation with having a baby is just unhealthy.
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Comments (224)
onepost_n_done 0
people are saying that it is not her fault because she really wants to be a mother. Well i really want to be a space cowboy astronaut but you don't see me having delusional thoughts where my body convinces itself that i have that makings of a space cowboy astronaut. P.S. I'm obviously using a ridiculous example but seriously any women that is that irrational where her mind and body convince her she is pregnant has issues. Yes it is a disorder but it really is self-inflicted. F the husbands life for being married to such a loose cannon that is that desperate to have a child.
idkweird 0
It's a medical issue. It's not something that a woman can control. Though it can be caused by psychogenic factors, it can also be due to a tumor or an endocrine disorder.
CharleneW 0
Having a hysterical pregnancy does NOT mean she is a 'loose cannon'. It means she had a lot of pressure on her to conceive and all that stress made her body trick itself into thinking it was pregnant. We don't know where that stress came from. More than likely she contributed to it herself, but that's not to say she was the only one. Maybe their families were stressing them out or maybe her husband was stressing about it too and then once he thought she was pregnant he realised that he wasn't ready and then that was why he was relieved.
onepost_n_done 0
I actually mostly agree with you CharleneW. It does not directly mean that she is one, but she definitely has a greater possibility to become one. Why is this? You answered this in saying that she had a lot of pressure. Who puts that on a person? Everything and everyone but in the end, you put the pressure on yourself. If my parents were constantly on my back and "stressed" me out to become a space cowboy astronaut and I let their thoughts alter my mind and body to a breaking point where i get a disorder, I HAVE AN ISSUE and i am unstable. Also to the point above from idkweird, yes it is a medical issue, but so is depression. Sure some people have horrible events in their life that lead to depression but some people make believe that they have depression because their mind convinces them that and it just builds up on itself. SOME women can control their mind enough to not ever get hysterical pregnancy, some can't (and this includes uncontrollable factors like tumors all the way to irrational factors that if the women was stable enough, would not have.)
idkweird 0
All of them are uncontrollable factors. Every single one. Depression, real depression, is uncontrollable. Why do you think people take medication? It's an actual chemical imbalance in the brain. If you actually think any of it is controllable, then you really don't know much about medicine, in general. Also, a tumor or an endocrine disorder have nothing to do with the mind. It changes chemicals/hormones on it's own. Im talking from a medical standpoint, as I have never had any of those issues.
uxoriouswidow 0
#68: What is controllable is not becoming so obsessed with the rooted desire initially, such that such a psychosomatic cascade doesn't occur in the first place.
uxoriouswidow 0
Was there really such need for such vitriol, #76? Defending someone against insensitivity by being many times more bitter and offensive?
idkweird 0
#82: and if it were caused by a tumor or an endocrine disorder? How is it then controlled?
dudeitsdanny 10
Thats a horrible analogy. Her fake pregnancy has physical factors. She wasnt just being delusional, her body tricked her. Can your body physically change into a space cowboy's? It doesnt even have to be the stress of wanting a child. Regular stress can cause it. You say its possible to control this with your mind.. When did you gain control of your hormones? I have no power over the chemistry of my body.
uxoriouswidow 0
idkweird: She said herself that there was a history of desperation for motherhood, making it more a likely case than such a stochastic event. If it was a tumour, it would likely have been mentioned in the post, since it's most likely one of the first things that would be checked for.
onepost_n_done 0
of course it was a ridiculous example, thus me saying it was ridiculous. my body sadly cannot transform into whatever a "space cowboy" would be...... if regular stress causes someone to become hysterically pregnant, i hope to god that person does not do anything stressful. Here is a list of stressful things. Traffic, marriage, tests, asking someone on a date, getting ready in the morning, o wait, DAILY LIFE CAUSES REGULAR STRESS. #82 said it right #76 not so much, first off, we have no idea she is dealing with infertility, she very well could have already had 45 children and wants the 46th child REALLY BADLY. (again people who don't get exaggerations, stop reading) Secondly, you have no idea what "gut-wrenching" things i've been though but what I can tell you is that it didn't take over my mind and body and give me a disorder because like #82 said, the initially state is controllable by not letting it take over your entire life leading you to mental disorders. Thirdly, what OP went through is the tragic loss of a NON EXISTENT BABY.
idkweird 0
#108: Everyone deals with stress differently. Just because your stress doesn't affect your life physically does not mean that other people are weaker or just can't control their emotions. People get all sorts of issues from stress. If someone gets an ulcer, is that just because they cant control their emotions? What if that same person is working 60 hours a week every week and is under ridiculously hard to meet deadlines? I have a feeling that you have no idea what real stress is. It's cute that you pretend to, though. A woman wanting a baby does not make her crazy or a "loose cannon." It means she wants a kid. Some people do try super hard and get disappointed every step of the way. That doesn't mean they can't control their emotions. Hell, even some women who want nothing to do with kids have experienced this phenomenon. Because they don't want them SO badly that they stress the opposite way. Men get sympathy pains/pregnancy. Does that just mean they are unable to control their emotions as well?
uhohuscrewedup 0
aww sorry to hear that. keep trying!
avoidthegirl 6
Seriously, has nobody seen that episode of CSI?
Sekococo 0
thank you pendatic
Sekococo 0
Sorry OP about the medical issue, and to the YDI read the comments before posting one so you don't look like a failure to the human race.
skyeyez9 25
my dog had a 'fake' pregnancy one year. We were babysitting a friend's puppy while they were on vacation and my dog would mother the pup like her own. My dog would carry the pup and place him in her dog bed, groom him, and not let him out if her sight. She even started lactating.
ColdGold 6
Oh. That's sweet.
xNephilim 19
A lot of animals are known to do that. Humans, too, if you think about it. The only difference between animals and humans is that humans are generally aware of the fact that it's not actually their child AKA adoption. I read a story about a tiger who lost her babies due to a miscarriage. She got so depressed that her caretakers eventually dressed some piglets in a little tiger outfit and had her take care of them. It was quite sweet.
themanhw 0
pseudocyesis
expertdoubleex 0
Big hugs. I feel your pain. Very few people understand. I wish you all the love and light in the world.
brownlace 0
I'm sorry sweetie
FML_jk98 0
Yup.