Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
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Top comments
hehe_oops 2
I don't understand how you could do that unless you had really runny shit bad luck though, ew btw when you said the kid "popped out" I imagined him popping out of the toilet just before you got there
050294 0
Haha, wow. FYL
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Comments (96)
blackllama 0
first
michael32123 0
so u got home and the kid was waiting for you??? or u were walking home and he jumped out outside? more detail I can't fully understand this
flakes_fml 0
atleast you didn't shit on the chiropracter
050294 0
Haha, wow. FYL
crapule31000 0
classic
WHODATNATION 0
second.
DogmaT_fml 4
'popped out' lol. thats disgusting.
xsuicidal_memori 0
ahaaa at first I thought it said pooped out xD
ATwistedUpFrown 0
you pooped a 6 year old? o.O I love how you worded this, made me laugh ^_^
joshhh11 0
it said popped out dumbarse
jacksonSFcali 0
wow that sucks but at least no one saw you... right?
HeroOfWar 0
The 6 year old did
WorkThatButt 2
then he should probably pee into the kids eyes and run like hell
bulll_crap 0
haha
kel_pie 1
ROFLMAO
Jimboom 12
At least you don't need to go to the toilet now. ;)