Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
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Top comments
GoddessDigi 12
Aww, that really sucks... I remember having to tell everyone there wasn't a baby (but in my case it was a miscarriage). Have you guys tried a fertility clinic? Also, hysterical pregnancy doesn't mean she's a nutjob. She really wants a baby (and some women who don't experience it, as well) so it's not really weird for her to experience this, if she was hoping for it.
TrekkieGirl 0
@ #1, I agree. OP, why the heck would you have already told family and friends that you're expecting if you clearly hadn't gotten a test done? Most people wait a few months before saying anything. Also, if you're husband is relieved that you are not pregnant, that should tell you he's not ready to have kids. Which you shouldn't ignore! There is more to life than having kids. Find a hobby, because your fixation with having a baby is just unhealthy.
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Comments (224)
carkel 0
Anyone else reminded of a certain 'Glee' storyline?
habesjn 0
I said that too
killabee 0
Because you're both morons. They put it in Glee because it is a real occurrence,.. that wasn't a made up medical condition for the sake of the plot-line.
dl_zook 6
that sucks that you are having a hard time having a child. but as far as the mass email thing YDI, everyone knows taht you keep it hush hush until about 3 months in because the risk of miscarriage goes down as well as confirming that it is an actual pregnancy vs hormone issues or false pregnancies. hopefully next go around you will wait for a blood test confirmation until you go telling every one of your family members
dl_zook 6
after reading some of the other posts, i have to say YDI. false pregnancy is a real medical condition but usually you have to have some sort of mental imbalance to begin with. either extreme stress, or whatever. if you are that stressed about just getting pregnant, what makes you think you aren't going to be one of those crazy moms who flips out on their kids because you are too stressed to deal with them wanting to play with the playdoh when your fav soap is on. my advice to you, get some therapy, regardless of the fact that it was a FALSE pregnancy, you need to grieve the loss of it. get happy with yourself, give your husband alot of attention because he is going through this too. please don't be one of those crazy chicks that thinks that this is only all about you, because it isn't. work out your issues before you start trying to have a baby again, let it happen naturally and you will be alot happier with the result. oooh and please don't go turning into one of those crazy bitches that looses their mind and tries to kidnap someone else's baby just so they don't have to tell their families that they had a phantom pregnancy.
myfriend_youfail 3
False pregnancies usually occur in women who have a very hard time getting pregnant and who want to be mothers. After a while of not conceiving (or in my mother's case, a long line of miscarriages), it can really wear on a woman's mental health. It's not necessarily stress, but extreme longing after a long period of frustration. And having a false pregnancy is NO indication that the woman would become a kidnapper.
TomasT 0
Buy a dog? That is certain, and it sure won't hate you in 15 years...
Morokea 0
Bahaha what is funny to me is that my dog had a hysterical pregnancy as well. Maybe that would happen to her's!
blastvortex 4
This is an FML? You must be joking....
myfriend_youfail 3
Finally, someone speaks sense. It's not like the poor woman CHOSE to have her body play trick on her...shit happens! False pregnancies are a real doozy, my mother had one a few years ago after having my half-sister. The urine tests were all positive, the blood tests were positive, she started gaining weight, she had morning sickness... The only way they found out it wasn't a real pregnancy was the first ultrasound. No fetus! So they put her on some hormone therapy or other to calm her hormones back down. Unfortunately, with that came the post-partum depression, just like a lot of new mothers experience after giving birth. Nasty business...
tipoo_fml 0
Why on earth would you send out mass e-mails if it wasn't certain yet? I feel bad for you, but you did deserve it.
Rota 0
This is a total YDI. I'm glad your crazy ass isn't having kids, you'd probably **** them up even worse than you are. Please get sterilized and do the world a favor.
myfriend_youfail 3
So...it's a YDI because her body ****** her over? Like she could control her reproductive system entirely, right? In your own words...please get sterilized and do the world a favor. Jackass.
idkweird 0
The voice of reason speaks!
jen_jen 0
why do you tell EVERYONE that you're pregnant as soon as you think you are?? you really should wait for a vouple months with the news..
myfriend_youfail 3
It could have been a few months, for all we know. Until the first ultrasound, false pregnancies can have all the symptoms of true pregnancies. They sometimes can't tell the difference until they do an ultrasound and notice either an abnormal mass of cells, or nothing at all, where there should be a fetus.
CharleneW 0
Exactly myfriend_youfail. Chances are she didn't tell the world, just her family, in-laws and a couple close friends and for all we know, she did wait until after the three months, which would put her roughly at 12-13 weeks. Where I am the first ultrasound is usually 18-19 weeks. I definitely didn't wait until my first scan to tell a few people.
citycrazed25 0
I've seen this on a tv show once but i don't understand why you would be upset about your husband. He might not of been ready for a child yet. Having a child is mostly a mutual kind of thing, and other times its by mistake. I say just take the time and talk about a kid and find out when you both are ready so there is no sign of dissapointment.