Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML
Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
GoddessDigi 12
Aww, that really sucks... I remember having to tell everyone there wasn't a baby (but in my case it was a miscarriage). Have you guys tried a fertility clinic? Also, hysterical pregnancy doesn't mean she's a nutjob. She really wants a baby (and some women who don't experience it, as well) so it's not really weird for her to experience this, if she was hoping for it.
TrekkieGirl 0
@ #1, I agree. OP, why the heck would you have already told family and friends that you're expecting if you clearly hadn't gotten a test done? Most people wait a few months before saying anything. Also, if you're husband is relieved that you are not pregnant, that should tell you he's not ready to have kids. Which you shouldn't ignore! There is more to life than having kids. Find a hobby, because your fixation with having a baby is just unhealthy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (224)
omg_thats_funny 0
well that's not weird at all
funkymonkey90914 0
sounds like Glee :)
frostie 0
How old is your husband? If hes young then i would see why he wouldn't want one. And chill yourself. You should imagine how life is like with a baby (this time imagine the negatives as well: money, time, no sex, your own health and busy as hell). Enjoy the life you have now and when you get older try then start to think about kids. Also if your husband doesn't want kids even when hes older, hes going to one dead beat dad to the kids...
SarahMarie83 0
Hermy: Do you have any idea how much it costs to adopt a healthy newborn baby? The agency fees, homestudy and attorney fees are over $10K, usually closer to $20K. You are also responsible for anything the birth mother needs which can include medical bills, maternity clothes, utilities and even rent although these are not always charged. Then there's the possibility that the birth mother will change her mind after giving birth. Sorry, no refunds. Not everyone has that kind of money.
Ceridwen_fml 0
So you should pop out a kid if you don't have the funds to adopt one? That...doesn't make much sense :p Kids you have yourself cost money, too. Especially if you take decent care of them.
SarahMarie83 0
I agree that it's silly to think you can successfully raise a child if you don't have the means to do so. Not having a large sum of money to adopt doesn't mean that you would be unable to care for a child. Very few people have $30K sitting in the bank when they have thier first child and most of them manage just fine. My point was that although adoption is wonderful, it's not for everyone and can be just as painful as infertility.
wordgirl 0
Hey, OP: wow. I'm really sorry to hear about how terrible things must feel to you right now. Please don't just disregard the implications of this, though. Please go and see a therapist. Hysterical pregnancies are pretty serious as psychological disturbances go.
jiesa 0
Dear OP, I wanted a baby so badly two years ago that I ovulated a week early, 3 days after having unprotected sex on my "safe" week. My lovely daughter is 13 months old now. And she gave me an ear infection. So, you're not missing out on much! Relax, and enjoy life while you're still able to go out and have a good time whenever you want, and your life isn't controlled by when daycare closes...
dynky 3
You can't have everything you want in life. Stop moping about not being able to have kids and go and make something of your own life.
SamiLMS1 0
My mom is going through this right now. She went to the hospital thinking she was in labor and they told her there was no baby. It was really weird she got the huge stomach and everything. Now CPS is involved because they are convened about my mother being mentally sound, it isn't a fun situation.
SamiLMS1 0
*concerned
martic835 2
OP--I feel your pain. I used to be so scared to have sex cuz I thought I'd get pregnant, then I found out I may never have kids. Now I'm actually trying and every little thing is a pregnancy symptom. Keep your head up.
percyjackson_xx 0
This is soooo Glee. Except for the relieved face, of course.
Ceridwen_fml 0
Yeah, sort of the exact opposite of Will's expression, eh? :p Though if this lady went Will's wife's route of actually pretending to be pregnant, even knowing she wasn't, then she really would be certifiably nuts. Ooooh season 2 where are you~