Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

Today, I found out that my 6-year-old son was named after my wife's "Favorite Uncle" because he might also be the father. FML

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

Never forget

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

Booze-fuelled family drama

Today, I found out that the man I called grandpa for 40 years is really my dad. My drunk aunt spilled the beans. Her exact words were, "My dad is a better dad to you than he EVER was to me! You never wondered why he treated you better than his other grandchildren? You're his son!" FML