Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
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Top comments
Rawrshi 25
I have a sneaking suspicion that she isn't actually doing much sleeping in your room, OP.
FML_HelloItsMe 15
OP.Take the ***** and casually leave it on your mothers bed while she is laying on it.
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Comments (26)
jj_snipez01 3
which college are you attending? I am from Livingston Parish by the way