Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we had an emergency lockdown drill. The closest room to me was the bathroom, so I rushed in and went into one of the stalls like I was supposed to, only to find out that a girl in the stall next to me was shitting. And it didn't seem like she was going to be done anytime soon. FML
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
Today, after eating some fire noodles the day before, I took a nice long poop in my school's bathroom, only to find out there was no toilet paper left in any of the stalls. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, someone tripped the fire alarm at the hotel I'm currently staying at while I was taking a shit. FML
Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML
Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that though he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML
Today, since I had no lessons until 1 p.m., I headed out to the store to run errands. Our school has a strict policy against leaving the campus during school hours. I returned to a fire drill taking place. The fire assembly point? The student parking lot. All 900 students watched me drive in. FML
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Top comments
whatsernam3 3
at least you get a two day vacation:)
Timmo_fml 2
I'm gonna guess he took a dump at school so he didn't shit his pants.
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Comments (140)
whatsernam3 3
at least you get a two day vacation:)
Lozza111 0
why would you take a dump at school? you guys must have food toilets, at my school, we avoid the toilets at all costs XD
Timmo_fml 2
I'm gonna guess he took a dump at school so he didn't shit his pants.
uhazsquiads 0
lol that sucks but enjoy ur vacation?
Brittney_E 0
happened to me(: but it was durring lockdown and i wasnt taking a dump.... why am i saying this again?
LOL_Noobs 0
YDI for even taking a dump at school and don't they tell the students If there's gonna be a fire drill o.o
ElMundio87 0
you don't take a dump for the whole day? that's not gonna be good for you
HeatherXCore 0
Yeah but if they're suspended doesn't that give them a zero for those days? nobody deserves failure for making a dookie.
selenagirl_fml 0
now you do.
doorfloor 0
you guys have school in the summer?!?! that's shitty
GiddyXD 0
lolol! funny stuff. :)
selenagirl_fml 0
summer school dumbass
slatter 1
lol I agree with 7 I avoid school toilets completely
Shookitup 0
shiitttt that sucks ass ;D
PYLrulz 17
21 - some schools do school year round.
selenagirl_fml 0
in soviet russia, poop dump you.
lord_of_yaks 0
that was the worst soviet russia joke i have ever heard... and i have heard alot of them...
atticuz 2
They also expect you to use the restroom within 2-5 minutes, whether it be 1 or 2. "I need to take a huge dump mrs/sir, be back in 15 kthnx bye."
Chrisskiies 0
Well lot_of_yaks you haven't heard them all, and that was one of the better ones actually. So stfu :P.
okieraider71 4
Well now you know. A teacher can be suspended or fired for not accounting for all students during an emergency ( or a drill). Grow up a little bit. Next time wipe and get out, little boy.
selenagirl_fml 0
it was my first time attemting to do a Soviet Russia joke... but thanks Chris...
pattapalmtree 0
takin a dump in school is lyk smoking weed in ur house wen cops over dnt do it
atticuz 2
How about. In Soviet Russia, this is exactly what happens.
Chrisskiies 0
Selena, your welcome. And people stfu, acting like you've never taken a shit in a public place. If you go in the nurse's office, which btw is most likely the cleanest restroom besides the faculty, then you've taken a shit in the school.
selenagirl_fml 0
atticuz... I actually giggled at that. It wasn't funny though... I just giggled at the thought that I don't get it.
atticuz 2
Oh, well. Lol.
selenagirl_fml 0
WATTTTAAAAA!!!!
atticuz 2
Whataburger. Haha.
atticuz 2
Oh, you put the face and the poop on the wrong sides of the wind. Lol, just sayin'.
selenagirl_fml 0
oops, I did lol
atticuz 2
YES, now I can sleep. :P
selenagirl_fml 0
OMG!!!! goodnight atticuz
jplumbob 4
Selena hopefully your last soviet Russia joke. those are so lame.
selenagirl_fml 0
well thanks for making me feel better!!!!!
KingZaneXII 6
cheese people leave selena alone! haha this isn't Soviet Russia, so we don't shoot everyone who speaks out of line.
rockediny 0
I don't get those soviet Russia jokes...
rawr_iliketacos 0
It's called a Russian reversal, NOT a 'soviet Russia joke'. duh.
BenD0VER 0
It's funny because you were suspended for taking a dump. I bet the dump was nice and moist. Take that, legonut!
I_have_no_clue 0
33 Agreed.
swimmerstud 7
I skip the toilets all day. they're disgusting!!!
rachelliz 1
my dad fired someone for taking a dump on the clock...
Massdebater 1
YDI for ******** in school. only weirdos shit in school.
legonut4 0
its funny because you got suspended for pooping. I bet that poo was nice abs moist
billyme 4
While it's an fyl for the fact that you would've had to get up in the middle of taking a poop, that doesn't justify the fyl:ydi ratio. Do you guys know that everyone learns these things like every year during their school life about what to do if you're out of the classroom during a fire drill? They expect you to take that stuff very seriously because there could be major lawsuits if all the students don't follow procedure. I do think though that it sucks to be taking a poop during a fire drill in general though. I'd just finish the main part (whatever's coming out already), wipe, and go. Sounds like OP stayed there waiting for everything to go down for like 10-20 minutes. You're lucky it wasn't a real fire. =/
anorexicbarbie 8
24 Summer school usually begins a week or two after school ends and is over around mid summer. Just wanted to let you know before you start calling people stupid..
zoocity13 5
in soviet russia, **** watches you...
Brittney_E 0
lol @ 80 as for the rest of them.... im clueless.
Dolfyutt 3
The poop had abs?!?! Learn to spell my friend. Or at least double check your spelling before you post your comment.
Hiznacious 0
it could be actual school, southern states start school earlier
PurpleLlamas 0
31-wouldn't it be in soviet russia toilets take a dump in you?
PurpleLlamas 0
guys if you actually keep your shit in for one whole day that's gross and most likely painful. if he had to take a shit, he took a shit. nothing wrong with that. now stfu.
kenjiisown 1
More like: in Soviet Russia, dump takes you!
Trollz4daLULZ 2
#71: Why did your dad's employee go to the trouble of taking a clock off the wall to take a dump on it?! *ba-DUMP-ch* looks like our drum fill... *puts on sunglasses* ...just joined in on the shitty jokes. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!
tweetbaby14 18
YDI for actually using the school bathrooms. everyone knows there only there so you can fix yourself up in the mirrors
diskdude13 0
nope they don't
comedychick 1
it's summer? does summerschool even last that long?
theschweigert 0
thank you 63. people on here are so stupid. and to everyone else - the russian reversals started with Mother Russia. Not soviet russia.
newnew8 0
you poop at school ? ick
MitchN 0
82 the spell check on iPods is retarded and it probably changed and to abs which happens a lot. well I assume he's on an iPod
Harlson13 0
LMAO!!!
CresentNinja 0
hahaha suck it bitch
Rampage510 0
faget
Timmo_fml 2
Alabama hot pocket - yum.
_streets_ 19
haha hey just enjoy those days off, what are you complaining for?
tofumeat 0
guess u have to hold it in next time :(
OnlyAvailableID 28
Haha, your school is silly. FYL OP, I would've been ******** myself if that happened to me.
catkat1988 17
FYL. But still, it made me laugh.
makeworldpeace 0
you should've told them off for suspending you, OP. it obviously wasn't your fault, haha. your school authorities are odd.
lickmyjock 0
Ydi for pooping in the bathroom stall at your school while the fire alarm is going off.
Jimboom 12
Should have told your teacher that shit happened.... right out of your ass! And that you couldn't move at the time because shit was going down... the toilet.