Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML
Today, I found out that my "girlfriend" is only with me for free transportation. She even has my contact saved as the car emoji. FML
Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I are so close that we both describe our poops in detail to each other. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. FML
Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML
Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML
Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "Should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML
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Top comments
lexuality 0
So your gf has a sense of humour? Oh you poor thing your life is ruined. Come on this isn't an fml. :)
anorexicbarbie 8
so?
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Comments (96)
oNikkio 0
OK. Now I'm convinced that these FMLs are picked at random.
lilbyrd43 0
boring
Lythiaren 8
So basically... "Today, I learned that my girlfriend has a sense of humor. Also today, she took a huge dump. FML" ... And this is an FML how?
waterynuggets 0
Lol @ this getting through and posted.
CallMeHush 1
Coach eh? All that anal has loosened the chile ring.
givants 0
that's sick, the only thing that should be a dump is her
princess_six 0
O_o oh noes, she took a shit, how terrible -____-;;; I really dont understand this whole like "EW GROSSS SHE POOS" thing. Yeah, girls pee, poo, fart, and burp. OMG alert the presses *rolls eyes*. This is a ******* stupid fml.
AmeOwl 0
So what if it's stupid? It's funny. And I don't find it gross. It's not like they're touching it or anything, just making a joke. Guys make poop jokes all the time, why can't girls?
0 3
FML stands for "**** My Life", not "check it out my girlfriend poops"
HanaxD 0
That's nasty. I mean wtf. It's not disgusting she took a dump, EVERYONE does that, but it's just disgusting to compare your poo to public transport. I share a LOT with my friends, almost every single detail in my life, but one of them is not what my freaking poo looks like. Am I the only girl here who thinks that what the OP's girlfriend is doing does not represent she has a sense of humor?
cjammer 0
I agree you're not the only one who thinks it's gross, but to say she doesn't have a sense of humor is a little presumptuous. If she had absolutely NO sense of humor, she really wouldn't discuss *anything* that wasn't proper. It may be an infantile humor, but she does have a sense of it. To each their own, you know?
HanaxD 0
Yeah, you're right. It's just that all the comments like "Soo, us girls shit where's the big deal." are irritating me. It's not about the girl ********, it's about her discussing how her poo looks like public transport. Using wall posts on facebook, so everyone sees it. They could at the very least talk about it in private, I'm pretty sure people don't wanna know about their 'coach bus' poo. I know I don't.
cjammer 0
I definitely see what you're saying. Honestly, if I saw a bunch of girls going back and forth with that daily, I'd probably remove one or both off my list so it didn't flood my wall. From the way he just found out about it, and this has been ongoing, the impression I got was that they're speaking in "code". Not blatantly saying, "My big brown fecal matter looks like a big yellow school bus!", but more like, "Coach bus today! Hehehe..." Which isn't any better, but there's a certain weird pleasure taken in discussing a random topic in code. Kind of like (if you did this, I know I did it with my friends all the time) when you were a kid and you "made up" a "new language". Somebody else picked up the note it was written on, tried to read it, everybody involved would snicker. Not that it was about that particular person, or ANYBODY for that matter, those notes were never harmful to any degree (more like, Come over my house? Check, bring the popcorn!) It was just having that secrecy with somebody else. That's the only comparison I can think of, anyway, LOL.
jgill87 0
How's that an FML ? lol
Intellectualist 0
Your girlfriend poos? OHNOEZ