Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML
Today, I found out that my "girlfriend" is only with me for free transportation. She even has my contact saved as the car emoji. FML
Today, my next door neighbor took up playing the flute as a new hobby. Unfortunately, he's very enthusiastic about actually practising it. It's been 3 hours and counting. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend's new friend is actually her "replacement". They met a few months ago, and she's really cool, we share the same interests, it's nice to spend time with her, etc., but my girlfriend planned to break up with me and "trained" her because she doesn't want me to be lonely. FML
Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that since he's doing a project with a girl in his class and carpooling with her in the morning, she'll be sleeping over at his house. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML
Today, I realized that my girlfriend and I have no shared hobbies. We used to. She's stopped doing them with me and instead does them with someone else. No worries, he's "just a friend", although she did tell me she has a crush on him. But "nothing's going to happen" because "he doesn't feel the same". FML
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend two tickets to a Broadway show that was coming through town she really wanted to see. I couldn't attend with her due to work so she said she would take her mom. I found out later she took her ex. Now they're back together, and I paid for the date that made it happen. FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
she wasnt lying. skin-flute lessons
MattAttack12 10
She's been blowing on the wrong type of flute
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Comments (114)
foxwasalamb 24
she wasnt lying. skin-flute lessons
Roskosity 22
Spit valve is full.
BCalrisian 2
Admit it, the girl can blow
mete_orito 34
Or suck.
kumarina 35
She was blowing a flute, not exactly the flute OP was thinking.....
incoherentrmblr 22
It's all about the Sax...
battlehamster 8
Trombone lessons
Laurenlou 24
#7 I'm sorry in advance for ruining the joke, but flutes do not have spit valves.
cole_tyler42 21
Well now you only got 99 problems, and that bitch aint one.
TiiBags 15
Linkin Park reference for anyone who didn't get it...
lnheritance 19
"No reed needed" Some advanced shit right there.
TacoTrop 10
For all those practice sessions she must have an amazing performance.
Jjtacos 5
aww I was gunna say the meat flute!!
GRubi 17
Maybe your friend thought it would be nice to tutor her, so she's better at it with you. But in all seriousness, FYL.
MrCantgetright 4
"rusty trombone" lessons??
scapachini1 10
she wasn't lying thoe, maybe OP's friend was teaching her to blow HIS flute
itooamscrewed 10
Oh she's getting flute lessons. Skin flute.
laden_swallow09 35
Too late on the draw there, Tex.
smokecloud_ 37
Oh they both made their comments at the same time give 'em some slack.
MattAttack12 10
She's been blowing on the wrong type of flute
Eyeslick 33
Or the right kind of flute.
listner1 9
Bet she likes the song "Blow my whistle..."
martin8337 36
Or, blow the man down.
kibster9 20
Better find a new girlfriend and a new best friend. Best of luck to you!
garrett_8614 14
Why not both?
mclovin22897 15
Guess you didn't see the AND in his sentence...
maximus_prime 24
Op's best friend has been showing her how to play the organ.
some_duck 11
he meant best friend and girlfriend as same person
ImAFaker 29
Yeah find a girlfriend that doesn't suck.
lennon_ 16
Dude that's a bummer. I don't understand why people cheat and why a "best friend" would do that oh well at least you can get rid of assholes like them from your life.
Crofty92 17
Doesn't matter, had sex.
medal9717 8
You're going places. Oh wait, no, you'll probably hit on someone's girlfriend, after which a 6'3 guy will come inside and pick you up by the neck.
GodPart2 20
I'd buy a flute and stick it up his arse! And dump her, of course
LostInTheZone11 29
I would shove the flute up his a$$ sideways.
gramirez23 9
Too much 33 too much...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
No flute deserves that fate. :(
j_cat187 20
Use a cheap ass recorder instead. he is not worth ruining a decent instrument over.
Zougibourg_fml 6
#6 WOW ! Looks like someone's a badass here !!!
bug87 9
What about up her ass? She was the one cheating on him. They're both at fault. Not just the best friend.
thefmlman2011 37
Damn, that sucks. I'm sorry about that OP! You'll find someone better!
sayyestothedress 24
OP's best friend is dick, a dick that the girlfriend's been sucking on!
Spyingcheeseman 8
God damn it
junkman6 22
Best friend deserves a solid ass whoopin, then dump em both. Problem solved. Life's too short to waste it trying to reconcile with trash like that.
tj4234 36
To be fair, she has still been playing the pipe.