Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML
Today, I found out that my "girlfriend" is only with me for free transportation. She even has my contact saved as the car emoji. FML
Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I are so close that we both describe our poops in detail to each other. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. FML
Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML
Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML
Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "Should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML
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Top comments
lexuality 0
So your gf has a sense of humour? Oh you poor thing your life is ruined. Come on this isn't an fml. :)
anorexicbarbie 8
so?
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Comments (96)
tweetbaby14 18
this one kinda reminds me of that south park episode where that one kids dad took a giant poop.
mizu22 0
MLIA
Pearljammer001 0
that shit was a big mac ass mother ******:)
ganjaninja420 0
I don't see how this is an fml unless you just now learned that girls poop. Why is it okay for guys to joke about the big dumps they take, but when a girl does it, it's automatically gross? Jesus, let us have some fun for once. Double standards are depressing and it's not as if there aren't enough of them permeating our culture already.
Laughing_Man 0
Everyone Talks, Everyone Dumpd. Sometimes they talk about dumping. F Y L ... THAT JUST SUCKS TOO MUCH !!!
lickmyjock 0
I want to see the unicyle come out
Airch 9
Mate, I'd be well chuffed if my gf compared her dumps to vehicles. That's funny as hell. Besides it's not like she does it with you, stop being so nosy (=
pandemic_fml 0
So? Everyone poops. Or didn't you read the book?
sarcdude 3
Well so much for that chick naming her bowel movements being the only one in the world...
thekingjoe90 0
did u know rich people n celebrities don't take ***** i bet you didn't know that