Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
NotSoClean
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Junk in the trunk
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
ppp
United States
Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML
Laura
France
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
PissingMeOff
Durham, United Kingdom
Firehose
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
tingles
Solihull, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Anonymous
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
SilkySmooth
Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML
scarred_sibling
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Caught red handed
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
silkysmooth
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Top comments
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Soooo make sure he doesn't have to wank that often.
ACrispyRainbow 0
Problem?
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Comments (378)
EllenMenjivar 1
Ydi if u put out ur man wouldn't wank
rayrayray23 1
You put out for her.
ColtsDoug18 0
Get back at him by masturbating with a toothbrush when he's out of the house
imaninja1 9
Thats what I was thinking ^^
Kirlyfoo 9
That not getting back thats just ******* nasty! He doesnt put the cum/lotion/sweat solution back in the bottle does he? NO HE DOESNT!!! Gosh ... Idiots!
mom2pen 4
But he obviously didn't ask permission.
iwatchutube 0
Your picture goes great with this situation...
159_fml 17
90$ wtf
bizarre_ftw 22
A good lotion, not some crappy glittery gaudy smelling mess, costs a bit, if you honestly need it then you're going to need a good one, and I'm sorry but a dick can have the gaudy glittery stuff
Llamacod 11
Bizarre- what if his skin gets dry after he gets wet and he has tried cheaper stuff but it doesn't work and his dermatologist recommended to use a certain lotion and it just happens that his girlfriend used the exact same stuff? And who wants a glittery dick anyway?
bizarre_ftw 22
He can buy his own
rattusrattus 19
I have £5 moisturiser, it does the same job as a $90 moisturiser, except it doesn't smell like Kew Gardens shat itself. Just buy the cheap own-brand stuff. Or some lube. Get him lube if it bothers you that much that he uses your white elephant.
rattusrattus 19
Wait, no. It doesn't smell like Kew Gardens shat itself. It smells like Kew Gardens shat itself into a tub of antiseptic. You're welcome.
Llamassss 21
Um, thank you?
rattusrattus 19
i can smel the chemicals and im drunk rite now.
bizarre_ftw 22
Okay you guys are idiots. Yes some expensive moisturizers suck and some cheap one's aren't bad but sometimes there's an issue of sensitive skin, highly picky skin, and/or a medical issue that requires an expensive cream. I know my skin tends to get really dry after getting wet so I use a $50 one from channel, I didn't go straight for the most expensive one, I found it on recommendation of my dermatologist and good luck, I obviously used cheaper stuff first but my skin is F'ing temperamental.
bizarre_ftw 22
So people stop being self important asses, dislodge the sticks in your rectums, and stop making groundless assumptions!!
sadistmonkey 19
bizarre_ftw - You're also making groundless assumptions that the OP is actually someone who needs the special medicated type of moisturizer.
youshitme 9
Also, OP is from Australia, we don't have cheap moisturisers here, like everything in this country, moisturisers in this country are at least thrice the price of what you can get in UK or US.
bizarre_ftw 22
217 - who the hell pays $90 for a moisturizer if there's no good reason? That's Clearly not a groundless assumption
sadistmonkey 19
bizarre_ftw - Uninformed people? Gullible people? Why do people buy Apple products when there is a perfectly good and cheaper alternative? Never underestimate the power of advertising.
cryssycakesx3 23
the only self important ass around here is 136...
frustratedcelt 18
Now thats what you call a posh wank!
flockz 20
the silkier the lotion, the smoother the wank. but i've always found toothpaste is the best remedy, if you can ignore the minty freshness on your willy.
DocBastard 40
*pssst* flockz...toothpaste is abrasive, dude.
flockz 20
it is? woahhhh i guess 3 wanks a day for 5 years just gave me tough skin. i always wondered why my dick was raw after every wank the first 4 months while using toothpaste...
RedPillSucks 33
But your girl friend will have minty fresh breath. No dirty mouth for her.
KnucklesDeep 5
What kind of moisturizer costs $90? Is it made with the tears of a baby and the sweat from a unicorn?
RedPillSucks 33
I would totally wank off using unicorn sweat. Baby tears is for pedo bear, though.
van_helsing 6
You have to pay. One way or the other.
himoonkey 8
You should buy lotion that burns the skin, then replace the labels then watch what happens
missamazinggg 12
As awful as it is, 30, that would be the point.
DocBastard 40
Hahaha! That's perfect revenge! Hahaha...ha... Or she could just, you know, talk to him and ask him to stop, rather than injuring his most sensitive part.
malnourished_pig 5
At least he won't have a dry/ashy dick