Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I discovered that my old roommate had left a full bag of cat litter on my porch and all over my yard. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kings1fan 6
I think I threw up a little
KeyboardWarrior 10
That cat must be boss if it can catch a bear.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
JackIsHere 4
The cat was hungry it wanted some desert.
MonsterSlayer13 5
yum.. :l
KeyboardWarrior 10
Run on sentence?
kooochris1995 14
Yeah because we all like going to the desert, where there is nothing, when we are hungry.
Angitia 8
I know right, 27? I love starving to death in the dunes, and at times getting stung by a scorpion whilst trying to find my way out! It's truly lovely and charming.
Cappiej 18
I think the cat didn't want desert for it didn't eat it
l4d98 2
Dessert*
mrlopez 13
I just desserted this thread. It seems all so wrong...
teague95 16
pshhh cats man always causing trouble
kings1fan 6
I think I threw up a little
olpally 33
I think we all threw up a little after reading this... FAOL(f**k all our lives) :/ just disgusting..
ItsJustMe1616 26
How are you not sure if you threw up a little or not? Lol normally that's something I'm pretty aware of occurring or not lol
Sinamoi 18
A cat that fetches toenails huh? Too bad you don't have a cat that fetches root bear.
KeyboardWarrior 10
That cat must be boss if it can catch a bear.
dcg1375 7
Brown bears, grizzly bears, polar bears, panda bears....never heard of a root bear
PenFifteen_fml 0
I think I've seen one of those before.
jvanaulen 2
Maybe he meant birch bear?
ItsJustMe1616 26
The comments to this FML are bigger fails than the FML itself lol people are really struggling to spell with their responses lol or I guess I should say they are struggling to find the correct words lol
MetalxSoldier 26
Roommate: Haha... Now if I can stick some clippings into the cats teeth and it'll look legit >=D
choshaki 8
That cat has super powers!
Akharr01 5
He doesnt need super powers to pick something up with his mouth.
RahmEsHestos 5
Well, it looks like I won't be eating anything today.
loller27 6
...what?
Enslaved 38
So that means his other toe nail clippings are laying around somewhere in his bedroom vs in the trash?
LaurenMarie223 0
Thats pretty bad, compare it to my roommate who washes her hair in the sink with dawn. A couple times... My bowls were in there.
redbluegreen 41
While that is odd, weren't you going to wash your bowls anyway?