Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I discovered that my old roommate had left a full bag of cat litter on my porch and all over my yard. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kings1fan 6
I think I threw up a little
KeyboardWarrior 10
That cat must be boss if it can catch a bear.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
KiddNYC1O 22
Haha, smooth.
jdcg116 10
Ewe. That translates to I lost my chewtoy. Having kids you see it all lop.
zandalee 20
Clever pussy
Girlygirl1226 7
I'd say that cat is smarter than most...
bubo_fml 11
It could happen...
_MidnightLuna_ 17
Holy crap. I almost puked.
inspectorclumsy 6
Cat's can be pretty.. amazing..
KRiddle 15
Giant yellow toenail... I can mentally picture that, I think I vomited a little.
nachosbabygurl 9
wat else does the cat take out 4 him the trash
taybear0 14
its very plausible that the cat stepped on it and it stuck to it paw, and it became unstuck in the kitchen. however, having a cat that roams around kitchen counters is even more unsanitary than a toe nail