Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I discovered that my old roommate had left a full bag of cat litter on my porch and all over my yard. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
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Top comments
kings1fan 6
I think I threw up a little
KeyboardWarrior 10
That cat must be boss if it can catch a bear.
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Comments (65)
alexwarfield333 1
When I was reading it I thought it was gonna say today I found one of my roommate's giant yellow *****. Lol
Xcherrypie 16
The 'homer' ***** is a popular choice this season.
ItsJustMe1616 26
I was expecting it to end with "we don't have a cat..."
WaylonD 4
That's Nasty! (Cleveland voice!) :D
Xcherrypie 16
He could've claimed it was a quaver. Google it if you don't know what quavers are.
ImSoEffedUp 10
Wow, u have to have one of the NASTIEST roommates of all time.... Just imagine what else he does when you're NOT around....
ItsJustMe1616 26
I'd rather not imagine. At all lol
bugmenotmofo 34
No. You eat food on a plate. Not on the counter itself.
micahsmommy 13
Cats have better taste than that. Blech!
coried91 28
Really? I've seen plenty of cats that eat bugs, their own shit, etc. Go try cat food and see how that tastes. It sure doesn't smell appealing.
immaMonsta 8
Omg, that's disgusting! Why couldn't he just put them in the garbage like a normal person? Put those clippings somewhere where he wouldn't like and see how he likes it!
ItsJustMe1616 26
I'm going to guess that if OP puts clippings where the roommate wouldn't like that he, well, wouldn't like it lol
perdix 31
It's possible. The cat probably picked it up and took it away to eat it. Cats are kind of stupid, so it took a while to realize that it was not a good meal.
b0ngs 7
Cats are actually smart. They make it seem like they're stupid but BAM, you turn your back and somehow that little ****** pried open the door, and is running onto a busy street. True story
Honestly_Lainey 21
Yeah cats are soOoOo smart. That's why they can't learn useful tricks and they play with yarn for hours -_-
StinkySiddneyIsF 2
#32 ^ this. My cats actually have gotten in to the garbage and decided to make toys of all sorts of nasty things. It's not that their dumb- they just don't care, new stuff that smells like the human = interesting. Least it was just a toe nail- I've had em lay twitching roaches in my shoes, found used q-tips on the stove :) just saying, the roommate could be telling the truth.
muffinstump 0
A slob and a liar....sorry but thst sucks, thought about living by yourself or get a new roommate
xxbobbyfinxx 0
Blondes...