Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML
Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML
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Top comments
Eheath12Jheath14 8
So...why exactly are we emptying the contents of a beer bottle into our hand again?
Ahmed Sakr 16
Well, he put them in a container that maybe he forgot to throw away, You on the other hand decided to empty it in your hand
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Comments (19)
Eheath12Jheath14 8
So...why exactly are we emptying the contents of a beer bottle into our hand again?
itisme_fml 9
@Eheath12Jheath14- that, precisely, was my question too!
Ahmed Sakr 16
Well, he put them in a container that maybe he forgot to throw away, You on the other hand decided to empty it in your hand
RichardPencil 32
That spells keratins on that friendship! Too obscure?
Zambady 11
So he’s a man of culture aswell.
GMSP 18
You know most people settle with just throwing that stuff out without opening it.
tounces7 28
What exactly were you expecting to come out of it that you would actually want dumped into your hand?
RichardPencil 32
If you see crudely re-sealed mayonnaise packets, hire a hazmat team to remove them.
assassinmaster 22
What do you expect? If it is beer inside, you will spill it over by emptying it on your hand; if it is nail clippings, you will probably gag; worse still if there is spiders or bugs inside...
Davros 12
Eh, just throw them away. Otherwise I think you can get a salve for that mangina.
Lobby_Bee 18
They are valuable, to a witch.