Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
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Top comments
Pauschinator 22
What was your theory?
Fermion 20
Possibly that the dog was peeing on the rug and stealing socks at 2 in the morning?
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Comments (62)
asylumlane 23
Sounds like it's time for someone to be crated at night.
JokersHQ 21
Some dogs are spiteful, mine is too, but hey they're family right? Gotta love 'em!
Muttley9 13
1. Beat dog; 2. Dog to shelter. 3. You to obedience school :)
worldclassrager 41
Theory of what? Unless you are drunk...or again I don't follow....
viau 13
when he get downstairs tommorow go to his bed and take a dump in it, looking at him in the eyes.
SystemofaBlink41 27
That socks, OPee!
outoftown 27
33 -Congratulations, and Happy New Year! Now, hide you socks.
DanielRamirez 10
The dog was in his mind probably thinking " look at me in the eyes and ask me if i give a crap "
rawlings123 17
Seems like you've got a Wilfred on your hands
stewie71 3
Wtf is your theory?
pfft123 14
That is exactly what I was wondering!