Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML
Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
LuckBeNimble 19
this is why I prefer cats. a cat would've let me sleep while it threw up...
perdix 31
You should have brushed your teeth before you opened the door. Your morning breath was probably an emetic.
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Comments (51)
krad204 21
So the world just ended? Lol...
CheeseHater 23
Yep, quite a lot of fire bolts at my place. It started an hour ago, going from Greenwich time at 0:00. We are having a hell of a party.
verkaderk 9
Ain't nobody got time fo dat!
aussieaccents 7
I would've thrown up on you too if I had to wait outside your door that long.
etchsanity1 11
Nope it doesn't end until you get into the same time zone as the Mayans.... But the FML has the dog trying to warn you just like they lay down during earthquakes or storms lol
LuckBeNimble 19
this is why I prefer cats. a cat would've let me sleep while it threw up...
budnut 10
Not always my cat attacked my face just to vomit on my chest
kingsian 15
Lol yes cat people unite
Ameel_fml 19
Can I trade cats? My cats just throw up wherever they want (usually a really hard-for-humans-to-reach place) and sometimes I won't find it until days later. :( At least my dog tells me she's going to throw up and usually makes it outside before she does.
StalkerChick 13
My cat(she was a kitten at the time) threw up on the hardwood floor( >2 feet away from her litter box) then did the paw-swipe thing as if she was burying it.
perdix 31
I had a cat that came into my room, looked me in the eye and took a shit on the carpet. I should have entered that as an FML even though it happened years ago.
seandoc 13
I despise cats. Not only am I allergic, but they are also lazy and boring creatures. Eat, poop, sleep, scratch my owner, repeat.
Teyros 24
My cat never really causes problems, but everyone can find good things about their animals. No matter what animal. Opinions are the only facts on FML..
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
One time my cat looked me in the eyes while he was on my lap, and proceeded to piss in my lap without breaking eye contact. Little ******...
bombshellbabee01 9
I prefer dogs. There are way to many fml's abouts someone getting clawed by a cat. Not that many fml's about dogs. Cats are evil little bitches!
onorexveritas 24
damn dogs
verkaderk 9
Bitch clean my puke up!
howdeedoo 22
OP should get a second dog and they can clean up after each other.
perdix 31
You should have brushed your teeth before you opened the door. Your morning breath was probably an emetic.
StephC720 22
My cat pukes on my bed with me in it! My dogs are much more polite!
seandoc 13
Are you suggesting that is normal?
MyCommentsSuck 21
You took so long your dog ate your "gift" and was so surprised to see you that they tried to deliver it anyway.
mbpoland 5
Morning breath is a powerful deterrent.
ICastillo 25
Damn, poor dog must have seen a horrible sight.
zombieslayer83 19
hell, my dogs just eat it again.