Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
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Top comments
Pauschinator 22
What was your theory?
Fermion 20
Possibly that the dog was peeing on the rug and stealing socks at 2 in the morning?
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Comments (62)
JoJo91_fml 8
I mean if you have a dog and seen random pee spots in the middle of the night & socks go missing, it wouldn't be a theory I would def blame my dog, she does do that sometimes LOL who else would it be?
Zebediabolical 45
Plot Twist: Every other time it was a sibling.
Ambient25 25
Plot twist: Dog is actually Bolt.
that_band_nerd 22
Plot twist: it was really OP the whole time and the dog was framed.
Lilo4life 26
Great job Sherlock! Nice to know that's what you do with your night, awesome job catching the sock bandit.
michaelaxiv 4
maybe he's trying to tell you something
morella_xx 29
Something like, "take me outside to do my business more often, or I'll continue pissing on your rug."
StillUsesMyspace 22
I bet you were pissed
JMichael 26
He knows what you did last summer OP.
zandalee 20
I got one yesterday! I rescued her from a pound and I am totally in love with her already! Her name is Hazy and she's a Golden Retriever. My life feels complete. Happy new year FML community!!!
foxy_grampa 19
And your theory is?
bubblyhayley 16
is he sleepwalking?
guttedbrit 26
My dog does the exact same thing!