Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a customer came into the store I work at to ask why I hadn't killed myself yet. A month prior, that same customer told me to kill myself. All I did was compliment her shirt. FML
Today, I greeted a customer with my usual “Hi, how are you?” She started telling me, in detail, about the terrible day she was having, job stress, family issues, everything. I stood there for 10 minutes listening because I didn’t want to be rude. At the end, she sighed, “Thanks, I’m not buying anything today” and left. FML
Today, I was accidentally rude to a customer and she told me to kill myself. My boss came over, told me that she agreed wholeheartedly with the customer, and then said, "I have no idea where you got this delusion that anyone would be sad if you died." FML
Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML
Today, I told a customer to “Enjoy your food” as I handed him his receipt instead of his meal. He replied, “You too.” We both froze in silence for a few seconds before he slowly took the bag and walked away in shame. FML
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
Today, a customer called me a "smart ass" because I helped him scan his coupon correctly. FML
Today, I offered help a customer to record his details, as he didn't have a scanner. He just stared at me, saying that he would never give any of his details if I typed them on my phone, as I could "do something else" without him knowing. He ended up canceling his orders and got upset on his way out. FML
Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
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Top comments
ByronJess 17
I bet there was some dead air after that conversation.
emxy92 22
At least people think you re intelligent!
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Comments (74)
ByronJess 17
I bet there was some dead air after that conversation.
a17eathshot1 11
that pun was horrible goodness gracious
ohnowhyme123 15
No need for a pun
greeneyebeauty9 28
I actually found the pun a bit funny.
Sports_guy3 28
#12 and #13 don't have a sense of humor.
speakersboom 19
They kinda killed the moment.
\ 28
Back on the subject, he's actually right. Intelligent people are more likely to recognize their faults and flaws than are... "normal" people, and to make a big deal of them. However, it doesn't mean all intelligentsia are doomed to kill themselves.
speakersboom 19
"happiness and sanity are an impossible combination." :)
notapotato 12
That's sucks OP for someone telling you that,FYL
vehementbitch 4
Thanks for your advice but no thanks.........
cocainewhore 30
I don't think he realised that he can get fined for that. I forget the correct wording, but encouraging suicide is a crime, and if they go through with it, the person who encouraged it can get jail time for manslaughter. I'm not sure I put that very clearly, sorry.
a17eathshot1 11
whats his deal
Wizardo 34
Nothing, he didn't buy anything although OP is offering buy one get one free on selected items, like condoms for instance.
JMichael 26
I think he was just warning OP that he has a better chance of commuting suicide than someone who's not quite as smart as he is.
Miss_Latina 13
You should of responded by telling him he's stupid
PenguinBitch 44
Ummm sweetheart, it's "have" not "of". You are now feeling really silly.
VampOfSavannah 31
Yeah, that'd show him.
emxy92 22
At least people think you re intelligent!
xx000o 27
It's a great conversation unstarter
meepmerp 20
Well, don't listen to him!
Izzicasey 18
Why does she deserve this? I fail to see that. Anyone else?
ThatOneStranger 3
yes!! thank you!! that's just messed up!! what the heck has this works come to!?!?!
djkazic 5
46, *world. And also, plenty of voting trolls on FML. It ain't new.
Kyuzomi 12
He's trying something sneaky, don't listen to him!
greeneyebeauty9 28
Look at the bright side! You're smart and people know about it! :D On a serious note, don't listen to him. He's just trying to get in your head.