Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML
Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Face89 34
Make the pansy get you a drink, then clean it up.
SteveTheJanitor 6
Tell him to man up and clean it up himself.
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Comments (98)
sebvissers 6
first :D
ChrisLTC 3
I guess it must be a real nice comforter!
fallsupstairs 6
I would be unbelievably pissed if my boyfriend called me home from work to clean cat vomit. What a jerk..
newzealand 28
You needa dump his ass gurrrll, also, meow.
AnonymousTroll 2
Women are the cooks, maids, and sexual gods of the house. You better get to work OP.
Horde 8
The problem here is - as I see - not with the comforter, but with your bf being @~ instead of working..
dre_bro11 12
30, what's that translate to in English?
Sebastian_NG 17
From what i got @~ = sleeping... Seriously a little imagination is not a bad thing 41
OMGIFOUNDWALDO 6
what about askin the said boyfriend what is the emergency? OP deserved it for taking a day off without more information
cbdee 8
Amen #30!
Horde 8
#41 "at home" (@ - at, ~ - home)
ntherewas1 11
I love the way this FML has been phrased. The loveliness of the language is too much!
Llama_Face89 34
Make the pansy get you a drink, then clean it up.
Llama_Face89 34
Then HAVE HIM clean it up, rather.
Jovecove 13
I'm glad you made that change.
djskidd 9
#3, I love your profile pic. Miku!
SteveTheJanitor 6
Tell him to man up and clean it up himself.
alex_shtuchka 0
I thought he wanted to have sex... U made a brilliant choice of a man ;(
22cute 17
Dump the man. Keep the cat. Wash the comforter.
jaminjames 0
You deserve it for having a cat. Cats are fake and gay. Nag nag nag nag nag
SteveTheJanitor 6
Shut up and keep your opinions about cats to yourself. No one cares you hate cats. Nag nag nag nag nag whatever
epyk_pryncess 8
Ooooh where's Alan...?
MissMae93 23
"Cats are fake and gay." Hmmm, last time I check cats are pretty real and are still living creatures of Earth. And gay? Well if all cats were homosexual, how could they possibly reproduce and continue their species? I see many flaws in your comment.
rockhead200 0
u should tell em to grow some nd deal wit it himself
MissMae93 23
Dear God, please learn how to spell. It annoyed me just briefly glancing at your comment.
Duladian 19
What language is this guy speaking? I can't figure it out for the life of me.
saIty 17
Actually the Nyan Cat finally shit that rainbow coming out of it's butt, while it passed through his comforter.
NomOnShroomz 14
Nahh, I'm pretty sure OP said it was vomit. But just to be safe re-read the FML.
farhil 14
The nyan cat started flying backwards?
Buttsexpirate 9
Well now it's not comfortable right? Spuds like an emergency to me. Sorry though that it was your last personal day OP. That sucks.
mk58 31
That's a real emergency. You can't expect him to clean it up himself of course.
rattusrattus 19
Here's a monkey. Spank it. No woman is going to want to have good sex with you.
TylerOMFG 7
.
mk58 31
24, I hope no woman will want to have sex with me... Because I'm a woman myself and a straight one too.
Ugi 27
You BF is pathetic. Why wasn't he at work anyway? I thought when I read this that the emergency was going to be that he had urgently needed a BJ or something! That I could understand, but cat sick is just pathetic.
SteveTheJanitor 6
Maybe some people don't have jobs because not everyone works and some people can't get jobs because there are none available cause of the economy and stuff
Daralea 21
I'm more interested in knowing how OP used up all her personal days for the month and it is only 4 days into October.