Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML
Today, my friend invited me to his boxing club for the first time. Since I'm somewhat short and scrawny-looking, he was worried that the workout would be too difficult for me. I waved him off and told him that I was tougher than I looked. Five minutes into class, I sprained my ankle. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, my dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter overreacted." FML
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Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Maybe you should test his reaction time by punching him in the balls.
RainbowDashie140 12
I would work on those reactions.
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Comments (68)
RainbowDashie140 12
I would work on those reactions.
im_joking 11
Should've learned Rex-Kwon-Do!!
xdissizit 16
Break the wrist, walk away.
BadKitty14 7
Maybe you should test his reaction time by punching him in the balls.
NurseJonathan 9
"So your genes are the ones that give me the slow reaction time."
wjh100 13
let's play ro-sham-bo I'll go first
NurseJonathan 9
NO, MISS WJH, DON'T HIT ME! I'M JUST A LITTLE BOY! *cries hysterically*
mr_sarcastic416 29
punch his own dad in the balls?
venom2421 10
Just cruel!
Bubbelz 25
42 No, punching your son in the stomach is fresh.
jokinghazard 3
Doesn't he know how Houdini died? That's a stupid thing to do
NurseJonathan 9
All I know about Houdini's death was that he faded away like how Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda did.
MadameMerle 11
Do you really think he has to know about Houdini's death in order to realise it's a stupid thing to do?
NurseJonathan 9
Now and days, yes.
Bibliovore 26
#46, the point is that Houdini was well trained for such stuff and had even invited a punch -- but the gut puncher hit him without giving him a chance to prepare, and Houdini died from it. Even the most-skilled person can be grievously harmed if caught unawares. So not only was what OP's father did hugely unkind and a stupid idea, it was also pointless as preparation and yes, potentially fatal.
etishuman22 32
Wow, I never knew that's how he died. You learn something new everyday. And I'm being sincere!
kemnet 7
Thats not how houdinni died
kemnet 7
please unlearn what you think he learned...thats not how he died.
Tiger9099 11
#66 try reading a book about it it's amazing the things you can find out with out the electronics
McNikk 15
Watch your back. He might try it again to see if you can improve.
\ 28
That's when you return a swift kick to the shin.
Roskosity 22
That's like throwing your kid in the pool to teach him how to swim.
GrinchFu1 27
Haha!! That's exactly how I learned to swim. It was cruel but it worked!
McNikk 15
For some people it's more like throwing them out am airplane to teach them how to fly.
NurseJonathan 9
Are you all offending my father's teaching methods?!
born_hustla 26
That's how I learned!
waffule365 16
I feel like that's how most people learned to swim
Roskosity 22
I feel like that's not accurate.
Tiger9099 11
#21 same here.
JtPv 14
What a loving father.
angelitared 27
Nut check him when he least expects it!
Reaper1984 13
When you got up you should of said "ok, my turn"
andyyroxx 20
And then walked off. Eternal suspense - and an excuse to punch your father when needed.
mattlw 25
* should have
Wizardo 34
Make it into a thing and punch him back in some sensitive areas, always keep your guard up, older people are conniving, evil, little people.