Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my pro wrestling training class had come to a close and I was gathering my things outside of the ring. One of my fellow trainees got out of the ring on the side where there was nothing but giant stage lights. He knocked them over onto me, giving me my first pro wrestling injury. I’d always thought that would happen in the ring. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML
Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You need to do a training montage. Perhaps "Eye of the tiger" would be a good song choice to go with it.
MGSPOP 1
Practice more instead of watching UFC, you'll get better. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (226)
KrazieKleo 13
Don't worry man. It takes a lot of guts to actually go up against an opponent and hang in there for however long the round lasts.
PlayWithElmo 7
In this case, only a few seconds.
Calyx_fml 22
Train softer.
GVirdi 11
Do the opposite of what 15 tells you
Zomg_Okay 27
Actually, there's merit in 15's comment. If OP is only doing hard training or training too much, he'll only wear himself out or possibly damage his body.
Calyx_fml 22
Train softer does not mean train less. It means train more sensitively. The best and most deadly martial arts emphasize sensitivity and relaxation. If you are tense you must first relax before you can respond. Train softer and you will become more effective.
laden_swallow09 35
Calyx - Two words aren't enough to convey that sentiment efficiently. Should've said all that the first time.
shifted 5
On the plus side...you won't make a living getting brain damage
DontModMeDammit 10
Fighters take less brain damage in MMA than say boxing.
gracehi 33
That's like saying fire isn't as hot as the sun. It'll still burn you.
RecklessJellyBea 7
Reminds me of Prom Night.. Don't worry, it was your first time.
GVirdi 11
So.. You got knocked out in a few seconds on prom night?..
WCARlover 35
Michael Jordan didn't make the basketball team in high school...so moral of the story, work hard and you can conquer :)
perdix 31
Nice thought, but he didn't make the varsity as a sophomore. He was a star his junior and senior years. Failing to make a basketball team is merely humiliating, but failing at UFC means traumatic brain injuries that may end up causing permanent dain bramage.
GVirdi 11
32 dammit perdix
razuu 1
32- MMA not UFC
bebohacker1 4
UFC not MMA.
WCARlover 35
touche Perdix, touche
R00ST3R 12
OP don't sweat a loss on the first fight. Think of it as gaining experience to be able to last a couple minutes in the next fight.
yahoowizard 16
"Why do we fall, master Wayne. So that we can learn to pick yourselves back up"
nightwanderer 6
23 You are awsome for the fact that you quoted Alfred.
perdix 31
Hey, at least you're not dead or paralyzed -- you're just 0-1. Train more seriously and turn off the TV, or next time, you might not be so lucky.
austin101123 3
He said that's all he's been doing. You can't train all day everyday. Plus, it's good to mix in studying how the professionals do it to get better.
PoppaSoda 5
more time to dream!!
GVirdi 11
25 Or OP could get up start training more and end up living the dream
perdix 31
Lie about your weight, so you can beat the shit out of mini-people.
peachesncreem 21
How does OP dodge the weigh in? O_o
perdix 31
Bribery and stealth. Wearing 5 or 6 layers of Spanx will also help the deception.