Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my pro wrestling training class had come to a close and I was gathering my things outside of the ring. One of my fellow trainees got out of the ring on the side where there was nothing but giant stage lights. He knocked them over onto me, giving me my first pro wrestling injury. I’d always thought that would happen in the ring. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML
Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You need to do a training montage. Perhaps "Eye of the tiger" would be a good song choice to go with it.
MGSPOP 1
Practice more instead of watching UFC, you'll get better. :)
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Comments (226)
katie887 2
Don't give up!
donkey79 0
As a former fighter and current grappler, dont sweat it. Keep training and keep your hands up. Good luck.
Laksejohn 2
Oh bo ho! You gonna sit down and cry now, big fighter man? Just because everything didn't go your way? Suck it up for Christ sake! One fight means shit, but if your gonna feel sorry for yourself every time you fail, I pity you.
noisebox 1
Hey don t worry you've just saved yourself a ton of brain cells and avoided neurological damage.....
dirtsailor 2
I've know quite few friends who UFC for fun and UFC like stuff. On invite our whole command and got knock out in about 3 seconds. It's not about getting knocked down, that's going to happen, it's about training to take that hit and get back up.
syoeuy 1
Well... When we're knocked down, we get right back up! So get your ass back on the mat!
stormchaser24 24
All you do is train and watch all day. I think you need to get a hobby.
mattoon11 2
You should try hiring a trainer that's what my brother is doing to make it there.
Dcm210 19
I'm sure you'll make a comeback.
YourMoms_BF 2
Success through failure.