Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my pro wrestling training class had come to a close and I was gathering my things outside of the ring. One of my fellow trainees got out of the ring on the side where there was nothing but giant stage lights. He knocked them over onto me, giving me my first pro wrestling injury. I’d always thought that would happen in the ring. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML
Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You need to do a training montage. Perhaps "Eye of the tiger" would be a good song choice to go with it.
MGSPOP 1
Practice more instead of watching UFC, you'll get better. :)
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Comments (226)
ultra_notorious 26
If it makes you feel better, I'm still an undefeated cage fighter with a record of 0-0!!!
JesseJimenez 4
It was your first fight. I'm sure you'll do better with more training and experience.
Torch15 9
You can't win em all. Also if you are using supplements get off and go on a better diet it's better
Penguinsama 7
Sounds like what some of the people on American Ninja Warrior must do....
AzzieC 12
There is something called practice makes perfect dude and u don't
ohrlly7457 7
Jut keep trying and learn from your mistakes chuck liddell the legend himself was out in 20 seconds in his second fight because nobody taught him about the triangle choke
Elrey83 2
sorry but you deserve it. out cold in seconds? really dude come on. you want yo be a champion with a glass jaw. you suck. and before any one starts talking shit i actually have experience. i have a black belt i did kickboxing. i know what its like to be in a real fight. losing is one thing but oit cold in seconds is just being a bitch ass punk
Locoluis 15
What? You expected to win your first fight? Haha, welcome to the real world, n00b. YDI, and keep practicing.
fnyunj 3
This goes to show: no matter how big and tough you are - anyone can get knocked out, with a single lucky hit to the right spot. Every person who wants to be involved in fighting needs to know this. (the jaw is very vulnerable, due to the cluster of sensitive nerves in the hollow, behind the hinge, and most people don't realize this). There are other ways to knock a person out, but generally, you've got to strike very precisely, or very hard, (or be very lucky). All humans have the same anatomy, the same nervous and circulatory systems, and these same weak areas. You can do 1000 situps a day, and most people, even very weak people, are still capable of paralyzing your diaphragm with a light, sharp punch to the solar-plexus, at the right angle. Your most important skills, in a fight, are staying aware of your opponent's position (hands feet knees elbows), and being able to defend your vulnerable areas. Keep your chin down, and protect your head. That's always got to be your #1 priority in a fight. Or you go down. There's a lot of focus on strength and speed training, and also endurance. It's really easy to train as a fighter, and polish your punches and kicks, and believe that if you can kick the crap out of a #250 sand bag, that your opponent will crumble. Then you'll get into the ring, and never lay a finger on them. If your technique for defense is sloppy - you're either going to get beat-down, or knocked-out. It's true, that if you have your defense technique all sharpened up, and you can stick it out, a good fighter can wear you down, and still beat you, and that's where all the other technique and training comes in. That's #2.
Ajwc101 24
Never give up on your dream OP. The founder of Starbucks got turned down by 235 banks, if he gave up there wouldn't be any Starbucks.