Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my pro wrestling training class had come to a close and I was gathering my things outside of the ring. One of my fellow trainees got out of the ring on the side where there was nothing but giant stage lights. He knocked them over onto me, giving me my first pro wrestling injury. I’d always thought that would happen in the ring. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML
Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You need to do a training montage. Perhaps "Eye of the tiger" would be a good song choice to go with it.
MGSPOP 1
Practice more instead of watching UFC, you'll get better. :)
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Comments (226)
fthku 13
Was tempted to click YDI for the "All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day", but you don't really deserve it. You need to have a life, can't let fighting consume all of it. It's your passion, and I definitely understand that, but you need to take a break from it as well. You'll see it actually improves your fighting. Anyway, you win some, you lose some. As a fellow martial artist, I can assure you everyone loses some battles, especially in your first few real fights. A goal other than just winning is also important. I remember during my first few personal fighting tournaments, I never got to a high ranking (Quite low, actually). The first time I entered a team tournament, I was the bomb; suddenly I was downing opponents like nobody's business. I found out I fight better when I fight for my team, so you should try to find your trigger, your motivation. Good luck with your fighting career.
KaylaDawnn 5
Well that sucks. :(
philbelfrage 13
Probably why it's on FML. I somewhat understand when this is the first comment because the excitement of being first gets to some people and that's all that they can come up with, but you're 53. There was certainly no rush for you to come up with a comment. Next time either please think of something worthwhile to say or refrain from commenting. Thanks.
mrtjawesome 14
rome wasnt built in a day.
jacie00 4
There goes my dream!
someone3225 2
Well with your infinite ufc knowledge u should know anything can happen in the octagon
lurbaneanger23 1
well i myself being an amateur fighter, i feel pity for you. hope you dint picked up someone who is a lot bttr than you are. Its really hard to comeback from a 1st defeat, even more hard to get decent fights unless you starts to ko everyone from now on!!! bttr make ur fighting career a secondary option
MuseFan1991 14
all those blows to the head have clearly affected your spelling
elletex 8
You thought that simply watching others would be sufficient training to do it yourself? I'm sorry, but I'm giving a YDI.
MuseFan1991 14
"all i do is TRAIN and watch UFC fights" combined with sufficient training, watching others do it properly is a good method of learning a new skill
SuperDragon 0
Maybe try WWE.
Acaprice14 9
You have more of a chance dying in WWE than in the UFC.
UndreamtKarma 6
Well when you get knocked out, knock back with a round house kick. That will show them.
Major_General 10
Dreams are meant to be crushed.