Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine three weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealership to pick me up. She backed into my car. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I met up with my ex-girlfriend for coffee. It’s been months, and I was planning on flexing on her with my new car. Turns out, she also got a new car, and it’s newer, cleaner, faster, and better on gas. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
Today, I proudly drove my new car to work, feeling on top of the world. As I parked, I noticed everyone in the lot staring at me. I smiled and waved, thinking they were admiring my car. It wasn't until I got to my desk that my boss informed me I'd dragged an orange traffic cone under my car the entire way to the office. FML
Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML
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Top comments
metallakes 0
that would be a noun...
immafiremylaser 0
What's a twollop? Is it a kind of fish?
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Comments (81)
so_me_fml 0
#39 I resent that. I am a car enthusiast and a girl at the same time. Don't stereotype!! JK though, I know what you mean, I have girl friends who call cars "that green one," or, "you know, the big SUV thingy."
nesj 0
Sounds like someone got a Porsche Boxter!
lmmmr 0
#39 - I think what you mean is that most women have better things to worry about than which unnecessarily large, chemical emitting vehicle gets them from point A to point B.
jamblasticus 0
If she had never seen you drive this car before, why would she then assume that this was not your new car? Is she some sort of twollop?
EffYoLife 14
lol@a twollop! gotta use that
nomo_fml 0
Depends on the car, but probably YDI.
Shzz 0
At first I thought he meant to write 'tulip' don't ask me but then I realized that the word was new slang.... Dumbass......YDI and your girfriend is a dumbass for using the word twollop. The appropriate word would have been ....twat.
TheLittlestNinja 0
lol # 45 are you a hippy? I
bbq45 0
Well, atleast you said you wanted to 'surprize' her, I guess you meant the other one xD.
40ozBurger 0
44 wishes they owned a Porsche Boxter and what car did you get!!!!!!!!!!!!