Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine three weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealership to pick me up. She backed into my car. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I met up with my ex-girlfriend for coffee. It’s been months, and I was planning on flexing on her with my new car. Turns out, she also got a new car, and it’s newer, cleaner, faster, and better on gas. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
Today, I proudly drove my new car to work, feeling on top of the world. As I parked, I noticed everyone in the lot staring at me. I smiled and waved, thinking they were admiring my car. It wasn't until I got to my desk that my boss informed me I'd dragged an orange traffic cone under my car the entire way to the office. FML
Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML
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Top comments
metallakes 0
that would be a noun...
immafiremylaser 0
What's a twollop? Is it a kind of fish?
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Comments (81)
koda_fml 0
VW's jetta and beetle are girls' car as well lol.
Laiaira 0
Well, it's YOUR brand new car, so I'm not sure why you were trying to 'surprise her'. If you like it, who cares what other people think? I am marking this YDI, because if you really truly care about her opinion, perhaps you should have brought her along to help you decide which one to get. I am also marking this YDI because you should be happy within your choice to not care what other people think! UrbanDictionary defines a "twollop" as: 1) A loose woman who gives a false impression of innocence or sexual naivete 2) A woman who provides sexual favors to people she may or may not know, and does not demand money for her services; 3) A derogatory term implying loose morals, generally due to a violation of confidence. 4) A very scantily-clad woman. That doesn't really make sense in this context. It also defines "twollop" as: A word (noun)that defines a stupid person, used by young people. So there you go.
ammali 0
LOL, well... what kind of car is it? If you're in an MX5 or something, YDI.
alexgisforme3 0
lol aww im sorry boo =(. maybe she really only was kidding though.
lo1337a 1
YDI for having such a stupid, word-mangling girlfriend.
mattmag 0
I hope you got a hybrid. Then you can say "oh, with the money I'm saving I was going to take you to Paris... but I might as well buy myself a new flatscreen."
alex_vik 1
Who dates someone that uses the word "twollop"?
Flyboy 0
lol. FYL. What did you get ?
game_over_fml 0
10# FTW hands down.
01100110 0
What car?