Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine three weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealership to pick me up. She backed into my car. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I met up with my ex-girlfriend for coffee. It’s been months, and I was planning on flexing on her with my new car. Turns out, she also got a new car, and it’s newer, cleaner, faster, and better on gas. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
Today, I proudly drove my new car to work, feeling on top of the world. As I parked, I noticed everyone in the lot staring at me. I smiled and waved, thinking they were admiring my car. It wasn't until I got to my desk that my boss informed me I'd dragged an orange traffic cone under my car the entire way to the office. FML
Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML
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Top comments
metallakes 0
that would be a noun...
immafiremylaser 0
What's a twollop? Is it a kind of fish?
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Comments (81)
xxmollyxx 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I suck dick for a living, why else would I have "xx" in my name? TWICE?
lbumbblebee 5
what a waste of first comment smh...
immafiremylaser 0
What's a twollop? Is it a kind of fish?
fezzaza 0
Twollop- (adjective) a douchey loser who drives s gay car
metallakes 0
that would be a noun...
starlover77 0
lmao
Felling 14
According to Urban Dictionary, a dirty twat. xD
HurriKaty 4
Run her over with it.
VegasMade702 0
Yah WTF is a twollop?? Is that some crazy british slang for douchebag???
googlefrewdnoob 0
The FMLs from Texas, retard
paintedchocolate 30
So what? OP's girlfriend could still be of British origin.
driscoll1985 0
It might be that you look like a trollop in it because its such a manly car and your just no beefcake enough to pull it off!!!!! I doubt it though. Women are strange either way. Just have to say I look better better than you in and out of it - your a lucky girl!!
jonnyBgoode 9
Uhm, what?
Xx_Slayer_xX 22
You're* for one, and two. You don't have to come in making douche bag comments that don't even need to exist. But hey, whatever. I'll deal with it.
redbluegreen 41
Sucks. Especially if you like your new car.
tick_tock 0
#2 Haha I agree, what is a twollop? Is that a British word? According to urbandictionary a twollop is: A word (noun) that defines a stupid person, used by young people. "hey, look at that guy over there. He's a twollop!" Anyway that sucks for you!
llamatrauma 5
i'm pretty sure it's "trollop." what kind of car is it?
Dukedj 0
I' m guessing you got a girly car? Or the type that maxes out at 83 mph lol?
chabz_fml 0
but then how will we get back to the future?
azurewave 6
Nos
Cheatx 0
Tell your girlfriend you need another driver to get your old car back, drive to a deserted place, and kick her out of your car. Then be like "Whose the twollop now?"