Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine three weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealership to pick me up. She backed into my car. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I met up with my ex-girlfriend for coffee. It’s been months, and I was planning on flexing on her with my new car. Turns out, she also got a new car, and it’s newer, cleaner, faster, and better on gas. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
Today, I proudly drove my new car to work, feeling on top of the world. As I parked, I noticed everyone in the lot staring at me. I smiled and waved, thinking they were admiring my car. It wasn't until I got to my desk that my boss informed me I'd dragged an orange traffic cone under my car the entire way to the office. FML
Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML
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Top comments
metallakes 0
that would be a noun...
immafiremylaser 0
What's a twollop? Is it a kind of fish?
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Comments (81)
platypusrex256 2
what kind of car did you get? was it a hummer? if so, you deserved it
lmmmr 0
#50- No, I'm not. I'm just educated.
kk3211 0
#54 do you use electricity??? if so, than that power is probably derived from coal, which is way dirtier than any car's emissions. You're just as guilty as any of us, shut your mouth and go away. was it a hyundai??? (actually, nvm, you're never gonna answer...)
Azurett 0
this isnt an FML.
freakaroo 0
...what kind of car have you got...?
Nakedsquirrel 5
If it's a PT Cruiser, YDI. Those cars manage to pull off looking both retarded and hideous, like an elephant sat on the hood of a hearse.
MrBigDog2U 0
Top five crappiest cars (OP must have gotten one of these) Buick Rendezvous Chrysler PT Cruiser Chevrolet HHR Honda Element Scion xB
cmillertime7 0
lmmmr: haha educated? Then you know that volcanic eruptions cause MUCH more harm to the earth than vehicle emissions ever will, right? #27: I bought a Pontiac Solstice for $14000 and it gets 29 HWMPG. My aunt bought a prius for nearly $40000 and gets 40 HWMPG. It's going to take a while for her to start "saving money!" Hybrids are usually overpriced, and if car companies really cared about the earth they would make a hybrid that wasn't so ugly and that appealed to those of us who are less pompous. I mean, take the title of Honda's hybrid, for example - the "Insight." They've got their target audience narrowed down to just the insightful (and usually arrogant)! Basically, hybrids are wonderful things, people just need to learn to keep their egos in check; because when they don't, it's suddenly not really about "saving the earth." If your work doesn't require a truck and that is your vehie of choice anyway, you may be stupid.
3timesthefun 0
do u mean tulip?
m1cc1 0
The hell is a twollop?