Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML
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Top comments
shaPOW 0
why does everyone on fml insist on using the phrase "explosive diarrhea"?
dino_witha_cape 0
look on the bright side. at least it wasn't a 10 hour transatlantic flight
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Comments (89)
Lambshanks 0
#11 LOL Post it as an FML!
hpnerd 0
F #11's life. seriously.
bubbles09y0 0
Number 11 that really sucks!!! Haha&& it also sucks for you haha. were you sitting in an asile seat or did u have to pass him to get to the bathroom? Haha
stopthestupid 5
your "haha" is a little overdone.
rootbeersoup 0
This is an incredibly old joke now recycled into a FML Fail.
johnnyramone 0
you poor thing FML all the way
coopdogga 0
Ydi 11. Haha I joke, I joke. If anyone writes this fml from the guys perspective I will hunt them down
whatevershesaid 0
Today, I was sitting next to this cute girl on a really long flight. I decided to strike up a conversation, and just as we were talking about just having broken up, she had explosive diarrhea. All over all of my carry-on baggage. I don't even know how it got out of her pants! FML
Serial 2
you should of used the barf bag, in your case, the shit bag
neverland_fml 0
He probably didn't hear you. It may seem loud to you, but it probably wasn't so bad. Did you ask a flight attendant for some air freshener for that bathroom? I think a big FML would go to those sitting at the back of the plane, having to sit next to a horrible smelling can for 9 hours. Bad news bears.
emomie 0
Could be worse. You could have thrown up on him. Which I have done. In his hand. Soooo yeah.
Marysenjo 0
hahaha #11. poor you :S and poor OP. expl. diar. is like the worst.