Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML
Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML
Today, I'm in the middle seat on a flight to Dallas. The guy on the aisle is sleeping with his mouth open and I can smell his breath. I feel nauseous. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a stranger. We made awkward small talk until the elevator started smelling like something was burning. Turns out, the elevator was overheating. We had to spend 30 minutes stuck there, and I learned way too much about this guy’s weird foot fungus. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
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Top comments
graciedacie 0
He had hoped he was a hot woman as well? Interesting....
Compass 0
At least you and a stranger got comfortable. A lot of people either wouldn't participate in such conversation or would get offended.
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Comments (40)
graciedacie 0
He had hoped he was a hot woman as well? Interesting....
nolimits 0
That's what I was thinking - get out of my brain!
XSinister_EmoX 0
Well everyone has a picture of something.Apparently bad smelling foot odor wasn't one of them!
chelzy 0
I wish he wouldve been a hot woman.
swinglifeaway123 8
No... The other guy had wished the OP would have been a hit chick.
catatonicsleep 17
get him to put his shoes back on if he has the barefoot kind
underarmorfreak2 0
Was he Indian?
Sirin_fml 47
Hmm, am I missing something? What does that have to do with anything? On a separate note, #7 has the right idea :P
Boddmon 0
Because Indian people smell like bare feet?
micery 0
Not true. Period.
JustSoLost 8
# 5 Do you not have any respect to people with different nationalities and orgins? What are you trying to prove. Show some respect if you have any. That was just rude and what a stereotype. Honestly grow up.
Sirin_fml 47
Yeah, I hope that was sarcasm. Let me have a go... "White people smell like formaldehyde".
WoolyWhoop 7
Maybe he wanted to spite the airport security for searching his shoes.
Compass 0
At least you and a stranger got comfortable. A lot of people either wouldn't participate in such conversation or would get offended.
Americunt 0
My friend wrote a new song >:o: Your butt is wide, well mine is too Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you The word is out, better treat me right 'Cause I'm the king of cellulite Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right My zippers bust, my buckles break I'm too much man for you to take The pavement cracks when I fall down I've got more chins than Chinatown Well, I've never used a phone booth And I've never seen my toes When I'm goin' to the movies I take up seven rows Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it (Fat, fat, really really fat) You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on you know (Fat, fat, really really fat) Don't you call me pudgy, portly or stout Just now tell me once again who's fat
happi_pineapple 0
Your friend is Weird Al in the 80s? :o
BlueTwist89 0
Ok. Fyl for having to sit next to a random smelly person on a plane :(. Idk why people think its ok to smell like a bag of trash, especially in public.
aeiouxuoiea 0
lol reminds me of Planes, Trains and Automobiles
ColdGold 6
I hate it when that happens. "Whoa, I spoke too soon. You do stink. Stinker."
DeathShad0 1
Sounds like quite an interesting and hilarious conversation and situation.