Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML
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Top comments
shaPOW 0
why does everyone on fml insist on using the phrase "explosive diarrhea"?
dino_witha_cape 0
look on the bright side. at least it wasn't a 10 hour transatlantic flight
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Comments (89)
haroldetus 0
Did u actually do it on the seat or did u go 2 the bathroom?
sjl89 0
wait, if you went into the bathroom and did it i don't see how he would find out. but if you shit yourself in your seat...yeah, FYL.
tech42er 0
I'm really hoping the OP responds and says it was Delta flight 72 JFK to Istanbul. Imagine how amazing that would be!
rachann 0
I feel your pain, I had a similar situation where i had the flu and started puking before the flight even began...then moments later it turned into explosive diarrhea AND puking. worst part is they wouldnt let me get out of my seat because we were taxiing...I guess on the bright side i was sitting next to my mom and not an attractive guy. =/
mutantcow 0
ewwwwwwww lol. just go to the bathroom :)
ZH13 0
19, first of all its should HAVE, second of all was she just supposed to take a shit right in front of the guy? 40, you're an idiot. im sure they talked to each other on a 9 hour flight. 49, you cant have"thug" in your profile name if you use the word "lavatory." its called a bathroom. and all you people who were wondering if she shit her pants and then just sat there for nine hours you're all retarded.
mentallymessedup 0
hahahahahaha nice
shmaller 0
#32, What the ****? You want details on the fact that she had diarrhea? Are you said fetishist from #7?
carmel 0
#3 is gay. Why does it matter how she knew he was single? Maybe they did talk. And maybe she was gonna poo her pants. You weren't there.
calm_fml 0
hell yea, i'd blow my load to chicks having explosive diarrhea.