Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
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Top comments
MetallicaRules19 4
Two tampons and a plug ought to do it.
mea_iloveskiing 26
At least you're not pregnant. =)
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Comments (194)
MetallicaRules19 4
Two tampons and a plug ought to do it.
TriflingAllDay 6
No that may not do it. Because if i remember right this is te opening scene to Contagion.
TriflingAllDay 6
No that may not do it. Because if i remember right this is the opening scene to Contagion.
labudamike 6
Diapers would be better
Oreohugzpenny 4
30 You're right. Anyways get better soon!
broim13calm_down 8
a plug? lol its going to burst when she takes it out.
OMFGLOLWTF 0
I guess she's throwing out on all holes and direction.
Miss_Attitude96 24
OP might as well just camp out in the bathroom.
unknown_user5566 27
1- Add a nice, stiff drink to that list and she'll be all set.
icanhazblivions 1
I foresee 18 having many, many babies in the future.
TrollPolice 0
Lol imagine the person that goes to the washroom after OP. **** that person's life.
onlychildFTW 34
Haha that's when a diaper comes in handy. Covers the back door and front door. Then you only have to worry about throwing up
poopehdoo 9
I'm trying to figure out what goes where :S
mea_iloveskiing 26
At least you're not pregnant. =)
cropper 0
She hasn't made it through flight 3 and 4 yet.
boofgall 16
8- If she's having her period, theres no chance of that happening, though.
GigaPudding_fml 24
There's always a chance :)
chevonfinley 8
18 - some women get their period (or what they think is their period) during part of or the whole way through their pregnancy.. Haven't you ever seen that show, "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"?
clarissasyima 7
My mom had her period for 4 months when she was pregnant with her second child.
beclaurela 18
18- Are you retarded?
unknown_user5566 27
8- If she accepts Perdix's offer of joining the mile high club, pregnancy will be inevitable. ;)
perdix 31
Nor constipated. Also, step on a scale -- you probably have a great weight loss going. Once you look at these things correctly, you can be grateful for your blessings :D
boofgall 16
97- No, just obviously not informed enough about it. But you don't have to be a straight-up bitch.
aleeshttylXD 9
did u bring extra pads?
vanessaizawesome 8
Or tampons!!!
aleeshttylXD 9
yes, or tampons.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Or the spongy cups you put in.
benjaminvondamn 7
Or femidoms
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
42- There's the word I was looking for.
fluorescentadole_fml 8
I thought that was the female condom?
KitGrey 4
Ah well, going on holiday? Least you'll lose weight.
Steve95401 49
Having 4 flights in one day made me think that OP is a flight attendant, not someone who is a passenger traveling on vacation or business.
whosindahouse 9
I think she would've called in sick if she worked there
Byahhh 3
This is a juicy story. Yes I gagged at my comment.
the_shrink 2
Wow, talk about the trifecta of bodily eruptions. Here's hoping you don't suddenly develop urinary incontinence as well.
awagh666 14
1moose + 1 bear + 1 deer = TRIFECTA
DKjazz 20
2(1 lion + 1 tiger + 1 bear) = OH MY
evilplatypus 39
I dunno, I think the next logical bodily eruption would be a nose bleed (especially with the recycled cabin air and the pressure changes).
aleeshttylXD 9
did u bring extra pads?
Almighty_Chris97 6
Did you realize you already commented the exact same thing?
bunny911 16
Did you realize that was her? Her computer/phone/iPod probably wasn't working right and duplicated the comment.
jayfreeman80 0
Why did you post this 2x? Are you obsessed? Craving attention? Or simple retarded? A water - head????
XTheDesertSongX 17
Oh my God. She commented before as #3 and got 35 downvotes, and now as #6 she has 53 downvotes. MINDFUCK.
ChefPhilly 13
Oh my potated potate tummy tum tum!
xXxIracebethxXx 14
The ****...?
robertlovespi 3
What was that other fml? "god damn, she is leaking from every hole!"
wuffymcwuff 2
That's what I was thinking of while I read this.
tinkybonk 10
Great, now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy!
maz255 10
I love that show
CptZoe 10
54 - I love how your display picture conveys your passion for the show!
erinnrose 9
It could only get better from that :)
Hiimhaileypotter 53
12- Don't say that: everything can get worse, always. It's Murphy's Law; anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
PerfasarusRex 3
Well she's already flowing from every hole
cathyfang1533 12
No, she'll be flowing from every hole when she gets a cold and has a runny nose...
bharted85 7
Nope. That still leaves the ears.
menacingsprite 3
She also still has to have incontinence. It can always get worse. Wear a diaper and carry a bucket around. FYL.