Good impressions last

Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

Today, due to nervousness, I threw up while proposing to my girlfriend. FML

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

Today, a guy I like tried to talk to me. I got so nervous that I had a panic attack and puked in front of him. FML

Fight, flight, or freeze

Today, I ran into someone I'd never had a crush on in school, but because I've realised we have a lot in common, I get nervous whenever I see him. I was so near to him while paying for food that I had an anxiety attack, and had to leave quickly. FML

Red flag

Today, I kissed my crush for the first time and immediately started sneezing uncontrollably. It turns out that I’m allergic to his perfume. He laughed while I tried to blow my nose without looking insane. FML

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

Couch action

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML