Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, due to nervousness, I threw up while proposing to my girlfriend. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, a guy I like tried to talk to me. I got so nervous that I had a panic attack and puked in front of him. FML
Today, I ran into someone I'd never had a crush on in school, but because I've realised we have a lot in common, I get nervous whenever I see him. I was so near to him while paying for food that I had an anxiety attack, and had to leave quickly. FML
Today, I kissed my crush for the first time and immediately started sneezing uncontrollably. It turns out that I’m allergic to his perfume. He laughed while I tried to blow my nose without looking insane. FML
Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
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Top comments
Cian_1 28
Oh, hello Stan.
Runner48 6
Stan Marsh?
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Comments (77)
Cian_1 28
Oh, hello Stan.
Jake_Hale 7
@OP Stan... Is that you?
TheCanucklehead 22
I thought Slim Shady killed Stan by neglecting him
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
It's good to see that I wasn't the only person who thought of Stan.
pnutbutternjelly 15
That is the exact thought that came into my mind when i read this.
AmbienDreams 20
Me too. I thought "well at least Wendy's usually pretty nice about it!"
Runner48 6
Stan Marsh?
Dave_Davington 34
Stan Darsh is more like it.
aJaguarinRed 9
Apparently one person had not seen the Aspen Timeshare episode. Staaan Daaarsh. Stan Darshydarsh.
Queensland 27
Well, love IS unpredictable ;)
webbface 25
This is going to make a great wedding story!
JFAW 6
It's Stan!
TotomatoJr 9
Brace yourselves, the Stan Marsh comments are coming! Lol
gracehi 33
You did NOT give me enough bracing time, man! The Stan Marsh comments are already here!
helpfulwhale 12
And that, my friends, is why we carry listerine breath strips. In moments of crisis like this, you just pop one in and get back to the kissing.
Welshite 40
I am going to have to say that is disgusting. Wash your mouth out or something before you swap spit, half-digested food, and stomach acid with the person you are kissing.
Bano360 25
Some classy girl gave a friend of mine a bj after throwing up. He had to go to the doctors a few days after.
helpfulwhale 12
I was clearly being sarcastic, 8.
Welshite 40
No, you weren't. I'm so tired of people taking the "I was being sarcastic" excuse. I think it's quite obvious you need the definition of sarcasm, so here you go: sar·casm /ˈsärˌkazəm/ Noun The use of irony to mock or convey contempt. Synonyms irony
gracehi 33
She might not have technically been sarcastic, but she could have simply been making a joke. You don't know what's in her head...or...DO you??? O.o
ksks1234 33
10-- are you sure he went to the doctor due to her vomit bj?
helpfulwhale 12
People like you are really obnoxious. It was a joke. Get over yourself
euphoricness 28
To be quite honest, it's pretty hard to tell if someone is being sarcastic over TEXT. I mean seriously I could be sarcastic right now! /insert sarcasm ... The world will never know
Enslaved 38
What's wrong with vomit kisses? Who doesn't love the taste of Doritos? :P
Daiyuki 5
Are you insinuating that Doritos taste like vomit? I love Doritos ;-;
MEM0817 18
It's just a phase you'll move past it eventually! Try not to let your nerves get the best of you and just take each kiss for what it is. I remember those days... The butterflies and apparently for you, throwing up. Hahaha.
fancyturdhat 11
You're going to have to find a new crush with a puke fetish.
perdix 31
Like "Two Girls, One Cup" fans.
nerdking21 10
Why would you bring that up?! Some of us tried very hard to bleach our minds of that!
PhilSnake22 13
Now imagine having sex with him
MEM0817 18
If she's just talking about a crush and throwing up... I can't imagine her old enough to be having sex. Not to say she isn't, but from the sounds of it, I doubt it.
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Just because you have a crush on someone doesn't mean you aren't of age to have sex. My English teacher has a crush on a man at school and she 's 46. The throwing up part though, that IS iffy..
gracehi 33
I don't think she was suggesting that you're ever too old to have a crush, but that if a mere crush fills you with such anxiety that you vomit it likely means that you have little to no experience with romance or sexual activity, which usually means you're young.
bribecrazyy 14
who said it's a girl? could be a guy....
curlytop101 23
Looks like you got yourself a messy situation!
Jake_Hale 7
LOL omg