Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML
Today, while I was walking to my car, I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML
Today, my place of work was robbed. When expressing worry that the thieves would return, the cops told us, and I quote, "If they come back and attack you, just give us a call back." Fucking stellar, thanks. FML
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Top comments
RetardedBullFrog 4
"Imma call the cops !!! . . . when I get home . . ."
tylersign 11
*mugger steals landline*
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Comments (166)
P_to_the_AM 9
Why are people calling OP stupid? I wouldnt havr thought of this outcome either...
cnkk07 8
It's common sense. It seems to me that the mugger was going to leave the OP. I'd be thankful just for that, do you know how many attacks there are with people severely maimed or even killed? I'm assuming that the OP is fine except for maybe a few scratches and a bruised ego. The part about telling the mugger that he was going to call the cops was more of a mental importance than a physical one.
Icecream93 4
well you asked for it ;x
conrad01 6
Why don't you just tell the murderer with a gun at your head "you won't do it"?
Mourningstar 4
DUH!!!!!! Its like in the movies when people tell the bad guy that they're gonna tell all the bad plans to the cops!
Savra_fml 17
Ok, this is how it went down: OP got mugged from behind losing all but telephone OP *yelling* "I'm gonna call the cops" Mugger *stops mid-stride and walks back* "Luke, I am your father. Give me your phone" *takes telephone* *mugger runs down the road leaving OP all giddy*
hpnotizin 0
It's funny how you 'discovered' this supposed thievery of your phone if you say you're gonna call the cops... Weren't you being mugged in the first place? I believe you just made up this whack ass story just so you could post something... And if it did happen, you deserved it and you should have it happen to you daily
enoxxx 0
your an idiot
Savra_fml 17
Oh, the irony. Since this is your first comment I will be nice. In future, double check/use the edit feature before making such a statement. The repercussions of such statements could be quite nasty. Especially by me. Happy FMLing.
KiddNYC1O 22
What 63 is trying to say is "it's YOU'RE, twat."
KiddNYC1O 22
Common sense, bro.
claysgurl09 5
Lol, you really don't know what to say when your adrenalin is pumping,
LennyComa 39
So what did you learn today?
btstig 11
I learned there is a pussy named Luke in Virginia.