Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Thanks, officer
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Great timing
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Stunlocked
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
Leg it
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Nice guy to the rescue
Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML
Adding annoyance to almost injury
Today, while I was walking to my car, I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML
Useless
Today, my place of work was robbed. When expressing worry that the thieves would return, the cops told us, and I quote, "If they come back and attack you, just give us a call back." Fucking stellar, thanks. FML
Top comments
RetardedBullFrog 4
"Imma call the cops !!! . . . when I get home . . ."
tylersign 11
*mugger steals landline*
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Comments (166)
JesusChrist_IV 0
Jesus loves you.
xobianca 10
Your an idiot like really, who the hell talks about to someone robbing them in the first place?
LullzKitteh 1
well duh! be glad u weren't killed, dummy!
bizarre_ftw 22
"Right Pal! Just KEEP Walking!!!! Who cares if you have my wallet?! You don't know about the picture I snapped!! Or the $100 bill in my sock! Or the keys in my pocket to the Extremely expessive, unregistered corvet parked right over there! So HA!! .... Wait. Why are you turning around?"
hahaomgufail 1
should have asked for a copy of his photo Id while you were at it. YDI for being a retard.
phxffemt 0
Duh
HappyJello 7
Wow... Nice... Sucks though.
camba8690 0
You can have your phone traced and get it's location, therefore making it easier to arrest.
RainbowHugs 0
Beautiful
NickNguyen 4
You should've stuck it in your underwear.