Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML
Today, while I was walking to my car, I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML
Today, my place of work was robbed. When expressing worry that the thieves would return, the cops told us, and I quote, "If they come back and attack you, just give us a call back." Fucking stellar, thanks. FML
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Top comments
RetardedBullFrog 4
"Imma call the cops !!! . . . when I get home . . ."
tylersign 11
*mugger steals landline*
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Comments (166)
Hyperion11 2
That was a rather dumb move, why would you even do something that stupid, let alone stay in the same area so they can steal the phone from you?
perdix 31
Stealing the phone is the least of the problems you could have caused by telling the mugger that. Saying that might give him a reason to kill you. You're lucky you just lost your phone and not your pulse.
leadman1989 16
I can see even more problems than that... all ops nude pictures are gonna be posted on facebook. It's gonna be hilarious.
perdix 31
Yeah, that could be worse. Especially if he had a small weiner and told all the girls he had a huge one. Death would be easier.
P374RD3D 9
I haven't heard anyone call a penis a wiener since kindergarten
2ndSucks 15
You obviously haven't been in touch with your inner child.
Arivien 3
Phew, I was worried this would be a serious perdix thread.
perdix 31
Don't worry about that. I might feign seriousness to get a thread going, but eventually the silliness will emerge.
allard 14
Petty crooks are usually won't do much, assuming he was petty. Did I just say 'Petty' twice? I should post that on FML'
xShannonxSammyx 7
"Hold on, guys. Let me make one quick call."
NomOnShroomz 14
*facepalm*
btnhdude 0
*napalm
flockz 20
aipom*
Jaxx66 21
*mlapecaf*
rawr_ily96 24
#109 ambipom
cptmorgan6 8
Pretty crappy mugger if he didn't take the phone in the first place. Pretty stupid on your part. Well done.
RawrNom 0
I was thinking the same thing. why go though the trouble of mugging you if he's not gonna take everything? Lol... OP. atleast you've got a computer still. or an iPod, there's a bonus. could of got burgled! I hate those things.
Wheredidgrungego 12
He better enjoy that phone. You only get one call in jail.
leadman1989 16
Better than cutting out your tounge, and dead men tell no tales.
littlericht 3
Phone 4 sale! £20 or nearest offer!! Lol!
Feklfekl2222 32
I'll give you £18 if you give me a case for it as well.
Feklfekl2222 32
What did you say " hey mister mugger as soon as you foolishly leave without stealing my phone I'm going to call 999 and get your arse locked In prison for a long time."
GraceKathryn97 0
It's 911 dumbass!
Feklfekl2222 32
Maybe Americans should remember that other countries have different emergency numbers, and as I live in the UK 999 is the emergency number. It can't be that difficult to remember that little fact and I can remember the American emergency number
drawmesunshine 17
69 and 82 are idiots. 25 lives in England. Is it really that hard to fathom other people living in other countries with different emergency numbers? :/
Feklfekl2222 32
Thank you 87 you seem to be the only American on this site that thinks that people from other countries actually visit this site its, originally French for ***** sake ( no offence if you are American and considerate enough to realise the Internet does not belong to you)
HillbillRay 1
Uz just dun putted 999 and asumded we'z sposta no wat ya ment
False_Stupidity 42
A simple check of the profile can do wonders for avoiding foot-in-mouth disease or moronitis
Feklfekl2222 32
But technically you did correct me....
minnymouse20 13
This seems like a re-post...
lostlover89 31
Legit, I was thinking the same thing. I feel like I've seen this exact FML before.