Today, waiting times in our emergency department were so long that a patient who'd initially presented with just a sprained ankle eventually presented with a sprained ankle and a request to test for STDs because he went to see a prostitute instead of waiting, and his condom broke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I went to the emergency room with my boyfriend, only to sit there for 3 hours waiting for him to be seen, then having an argument with him about how impatient I am because they never called his name. FML
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML
Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, my fiancé is going to Planned Parenthood to see if he got herpes from a prostitute. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, I felt an intense pain in my abdomen, so my mom drove me to the hospital. When we were in the waiting room, she rudely said, "It's probably an STD since you're such a slut." And then she left me there. It was a kidney infection. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
He must have been quite horny to hobble over to the hooker with a sprained ankle. Most people forego sex with just a headache.
IHaveThePower 18
You might also do a test for ADHD, because that's a rarin' case of attention span problems if ever I've seen one. And I HAVE ADHD...
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
He must have been quite horny to hobble over to the hooker with a sprained ankle. Most people forego sex with just a headache.
IHaveThePower 18
You might also do a test for ADHD, because that's a rarin' case of attention span problems if ever I've seen one. And I HAVE ADHD...