Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML
Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML
Today, I found ladies knee-high socks that weren't mine. I don't even own a pair of knee-high socks. After bickering back and forth with my boyfriend, he said, "Actually now that you mention it, I thought they were yours and I put them there." FML
Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML
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Top comments
Milk_Emperor 8
Hahaha, I don't know who got the shittiest end of the stick: you, your boyfriend or your sister. That'll be some awkward family conversations. Good luck.
pcentral 17
I want a gentleman in the streets, but a freak in the bed...?
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Comments (188)
1happymummy 14
So you just broke up with him? Bet that did wonders for his self esteem.
zandalee 20
I'm so sorry OP. welcome to the real world where all is not quite what it seems. Either except your boyfriend for who he really is or move on to a more conventional boyfriend. Your choice. Your move. Good luck
patrickalamo 48
So he performs in the Rocky Horror picture Show on weekends?
teyyoshi 19
awkward...
FuzzyJack 15
I hope you didn't just broke up with him over this. Or plan to. I don't think this is a really big deal. Just talk with him about this. It can be just a fetish, which may lead to some more fun time for you. Who knows.
TheDrudgeChild 4
It's not even remotely a big deal, a lot of people on this FML just seem to either be ignorant or intolerant. It doesn't mean he's gay or a tranny, it's just an innocent fetish.
FuzzyJack 15
I agree. And even if it isn't just a fetish and he happens to be gay, transvestite or transgender, it's a lot better to talk about it with him than just dump him. Judging by the name on the FML she dumped him, it makes me feel pretty bad for him. It may make it a lot harder for him to discuss this in the future with someone else he's dating.
outoftown 27
Fetish or not, he stole male-up from OP and let OP's sister take the blame. He didn't get the stockings and heels from OP. Did he steal those, too? There's more than one issue with this guy.
elevyn 16
Sure he shouldn't have stolen your makeup and he could've been honest with you from the start but can you really blame him for being scared of you reacting exactly the way you did? Different things for different people, if he treated you well and you had fun with him I don't see why a different choice of footwear is a deal breaker. Fun fact: high heels were originally exclusively for men because height was seen as very masculine and a status symbol.
VooDooCarrie91 19
Fact: men used to wear women's clothes to play those roles during theater performances because women were not allowed.
meso222 8
Fact: Disco shoes... Need room for fishies.
reject214 10
So he likes wear make-up and high heels. I think you should wear his boxers and shirt, then hit Greenwich Village if you're from NY and you'll both seem completely normal.
Steve95401 49
#20 - OP said the shoes were in her now ex-boyfriend's size, which is probably somewhat larger than her size
Estapc 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
53, No where in the FML did she type "ex-friend".
jaredofmo 22
The name on it is "SingleAgain."