Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML
Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML
Today, I found ladies knee-high socks that weren't mine. I don't even own a pair of knee-high socks. After bickering back and forth with my boyfriend, he said, "Actually now that you mention it, I thought they were yours and I put them there." FML
Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML
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Top comments
Milk_Emperor 8
Hahaha, I don't know who got the shittiest end of the stick: you, your boyfriend or your sister. That'll be some awkward family conversations. Good luck.
pcentral 17
I want a gentleman in the streets, but a freak in the bed...?
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Comments (188)
ChakatBlackstar 29
I hope that's not the reason you broke up with him. I mean, is stealing you significant other's makeup that big of a deal?
janerose21 3
I don't think Christian Gray (50 shades) will approve of this!!
blackpuddle 30
I have a bunch of guy friends that prefer women's clothing over men's as they have curves so the women's fits them better. Sometimes they like to go all out just for the wow factor =) On the flip side I'm female and prefer men's pants as I like baggy pants and hate stretch jeans, and my boyfriend doesn't care about it at all. So I really don't see this fml as a big deal at all. The worst thing about it is he should have asked before taking your makeup, but I can see how he might have been afraid too.
krewer21 1
Awesome!!!
wowthatissad 9
Tell him to buy his own makeup. Oh my god there are so many things wrong with that sentence...
jaggerbaby4726 1
Nice(:
DerrickJames 33
Someone needs to snipe him.
ThePolloBandito 13
Someone needs to snipe you for being such a close-minded moron.
iloveshim 14
Intervention anyone?
TheJester12 15
The Jonas brothers did it first. Relax
jem970 19
I can see why you broke up with him. She probably just had a hard time accepting a cross dresser, some people are very uncomfortable with it. But maybe if OP really thinks about it for a lil while she will want to get back together. Everyone has a hard limit on what they are willing to accept.