Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML
Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML
Today, I found ladies knee-high socks that weren't mine. I don't even own a pair of knee-high socks. After bickering back and forth with my boyfriend, he said, "Actually now that you mention it, I thought they were yours and I put them there." FML
Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML
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Top comments
Milk_Emperor 8
Hahaha, I don't know who got the shittiest end of the stick: you, your boyfriend or your sister. That'll be some awkward family conversations. Good luck.
pcentral 17
I want a gentleman in the streets, but a freak in the bed...?
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Comments (188)
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Put on some makeup, turn on the 8-track, I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf, Suddenly I'm Miss Farrah Fawcett from TV, And then I wake up, and I turn back to myself" ...hey *somebody* had to make a song reference that wasn't from Rocky Horror. (Yes, I'm male and have caught myself singing this. Dead embarrassing.)
ThePolloBandito 13
Yay video game playing girl!
kitsune3 20
He might just be a metrosexual. A straight man who enjoys dressing and acting like a woman. Don't be too weirded out. Talk to him about it.
gmaxwell1 2
well you wouldn't have to tell your sister if u didn't FALSELY accuse her
Ambi_Sinistrous 5
Well, if you show that you're open to a conversation about this side of your bf's sexuality, your accessories and makeup will probably stop disappearing. Maybe it's not even about being a woman some of the time, maybe he just thinks it's hot to wear clothes that have been worn by a woman, or maybe it is. Either way, as long as there's room for your needs to be met as well as his, it's not necessarily a deal-breaker.
spottyblanket 8
so what? Though he shouldn't steal, if he feels awkard buying makeup you can buy it for him OP
srbuckley322 10
And how exactly do you know what size he wears in woman's shoes?
Tidus0 17
Someone I used to work with was at a drag show and saw her boyfriend performing. She was shocked as haha
fukmefreddy 4
Applebee's 6464 E. northwest hwy 75231
sammyluvspugs 4
He has his hobbies and u hav urs. Don't judge him!!