audreyav
Dallas, United States
Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
upliftmofo
Belgium
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
hoo flung pu
United States
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
crazycatlady
Ashland, United States
Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML
Anonymous
Reno, United States
Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Laura
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
GrossedOut
United States
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
toothpastecat
Canada
Poor kitty
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
Pooped
United States
Time to go to the vet
Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML
Jim20
Friedberg, Germany
Revenge is sweet
Today, I found out my sister scratches her butt with my toothbrush every time she is mad with me. FML
Top comments
notyobitch 0
Most things sit butthole first.
nslurve 4
I failed to think of a clever comment.
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Comments (139)
chilearmy123 4
Haha u should try some on
chevonfinley 8
Uhhhh.. what?
zachherbert 10
Cats have no manners these days. First, they wouldn't except tea from a doped a man, and now THIS!
vanessaizawesome 8
That's gross, I would be soo upset. Try finding one identical to it! :)
alexup24 13
Successful troll cat is successful
TriflingAllDay 6
Please continue to use this makeup brush and contract the zombie virus. We're all waiting for the apocalypse to kick off.
Oreohugzpenny 4
LOL some cat you got there!
baconftw 9
I have the same hobby, except with my ex's makeup brush.
Deannie88 6
Well that's gross.... If ya get a little dark brown in your mix, watch out!
MrBrightside21 20
It might help OP's tan? Or not. That ***** nasty...
zachherbert 10
12- Am I the only one that imagined that in Cleveland's voice from Family Guy?
thatssomeBS 9
The cat was just powdering its butthole...
MrBrightside21 20
28 - After reading 'herbert' in your username, I read your comment in Herbert the Pervert's voice.
notyobitch 0
Most things sit butthole first.
xcarxcrashx 9
Cats are just pretty rude.
vanessaizawesome 8
I've always hated cats
chevonfinley 8
17 - Well, cats hate you too. Enormously. :P
vanessaizawesome 8
21- what I was trying to say is I'm allergic to cats and have had a bad history with them
gracehi 33
Well I guess they do hate you too if they're mean enough to give you hives. :P
ebonyirony 29
66: I'm allergic to cats too. But I snuggle now and pay later.
twisted_cherub 14
66- My sister is that way. She loves all animals, but cat dander can be deadly to her. She has to carry an EpiPen for it. Whenever one comes toward her from my neighbor's house she runs inside and rants about how they're after her and all cats are evil.
Simoneaux17 11
Oh yeah. Thumb her down for having an opinion. :)
BarDownDaily 12
How else do cats sit, was butthole first really nessisary?
mizuki123 8
OP might of been making it clear for some people who might not understand what she was trying to say.
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
I think "butt hole first" just emphasizes that the cat's ass particles were left on OP's favorite makeup brush.
mizuki123 8
That makes sense.
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
Or the cat could've sat with it's paws on the brush first. So she specifically noted the butt-hole.
mizuki123 8
99 that was uncalled for. Don't need to be rude about it obviously you can tell what they meant so get over it. Besides this isn't an English paper. Also I do believe you're suppose to have a period at the end of the sentence but I could be wrong.
hipsterhunter 9
99- He's Canadian; cut him some slack.
mizuki123 8
What does being Canadian have to do with anything?
maytheforce_ 0
My cat sits on his side. :|
g0ldenb0nes 6
Time for a new makeup brush?
jkmartinjk 16
Time for less makeup 5?
Awsumuzzie 12
65, Stfu and mind your own life. 5's make up routine in no way affects your life. Besides, I see she just darkened her eyebrows and used eye liner, nothing too crazy.
g0ldenb0nes 6
65, since when is eyeliner and eyebrow liner considered, too much makeup? That's the only makeup I wear hah.
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
Perhaps it was just his failed attempt at trying to tell 5 she would look pretty even without makeup on. Actually, yeah it's probably just rudeness.
Redox127 7
Time for a makeup bag!
mkimbee 9
'Errybuddy's getting so darn mad! Calm down hoes!
jkmartinjk 16
I
PerfasarusRex 3
Maybe it's his way of marking your face as his territory?
vanessaizawesome 8
6- I LOVEE UR PIC!!!!!
doctorhook86 25
6: Didnt you used to post as someone else? Annoelleum or something?
PerfasarusRex 3
70 yes I did but I got creeped majorly and switched
pikachu2000 7
Hmmm..... I see that your profile pic is of a narwhal... Might I ask when the narwhal bacons?
doctorhook86 25
88: Bummer dude. Best of luck out there.
nslurve 4
I failed to think of a clever comment.
zachherbert 10
I thumb you up for your honesty.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Same here. I got nothing....
Hiimhaileypotter 53
29 thought if 9 got thumbed up for his honesty, he would too... Hahaha, so sorry, 29! :P
IDontKnow10101 14
i like how the comment numbers went 9, 19, 29; and then you had to break it with 34
False_Stupidity 42
I failed to think of a clever reason to thumb you up.
Rebi3144 8
I hate when that happens ._.
olpally 33
I hate when this comment happens^ and chances are, it's never happened to you... As for op, throw it away! Nasty!
Spanik 10
I just hope it's not a $200 brush...
KiRaKaT 9
$200 brush!? Why waste that money on a makeup brush?
Rebi3144 8
Actually, yes it has happened to me. So kindly screw off. Thank you, and have a nice day(:
olpally 33
nice comment, only took you 5 hours to think of a comeback.... This is about op, not you, have a nice day...
Rebi3144 8
I was doing something. I don't waste my whole day on FML. Anyway, I'm done with this conversation. It was just a comment.
mkimbee 9
ULTRA FLOUNCE ACTIVATED
vanessaizawesome 8
90-Just leave her alone, Jesus it's really not your problem if it has or hasn't happened to her. What do you care!
tmmundy 17
Try putting your favorite make-up brush up when you're done with it, instead of leaving it on the counter, or wherever you've been leaving it. Your cat is going to sit wherever he/she pleases. Mine do.
anothermohammad 10
i love getting pink eye!
rcgirl2 11
The crust getting around your eyes and the fluid that comes out of it. Ah! Pink eye!
TriflingAllDay 6
I bet you do you do you creepy mofo. I bet you do..