Laura
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
catbum
Regina, Canada
Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML
Anonymous
Oldest trick in the book
Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML
upliftmofo
Belgium
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
BeatenUpPup
Canada
Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML
...
San Francisco, United States
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
gbabyy
United States
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Ihatestraycats
Apex predator
Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML
maruskasommers
Czech Republic
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Anonymous
Primitive art
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Anonymous
Oshawa, Canada
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Top comments
dillies 3
maybe she thought it was a pencil sharpener?
FerrariCake 2
You didnt say how old your daughter is. That matters. If she is 6 years old, this behavior indicates the child should see a therapist. If she is 19 years old, this behavior indicates she should contact a **** talent agency.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (149)
BeRealz 0
Sounds she an future serial killer! Look it up on Google.com study about how to find the future serial-killers.
unidentified_sta 5
How about no
mfmylifesrsly 30
this reminds me of an FML months ago when a mother found gutless mice under her sons bed.
BeRealz 0
I hope the kid said, "For the black plague people!".
jweezy89 4
She could also have a future as a vet, just sayin'.
whoisthisgirl 4
#1 that's animal abuse. there's links to killers starting with hurting animals.. lots of kids try touching animal butts. thankfully it wasn't her finger...
jagrmeister721 2
Parent of the year.
RedPillSucks 33
Hmmmm..... Future proctologist, or serial killer?
cesciscecsy 0
Saddam Hussein as a kid used to light a match on the street cats' tails just for fun, to see the fire slowly reaching the cat's body until it would burn to death. And he did that just for fun! Sicko.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I like her style. What type of pencil was it? I prefer to use a 2B
apriljoyo 0
F your cat's life.
sloppyflow 1
kids gonna learn. lock the door next time op
stephaniegeezy 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAA, win.
FarSide 23
F your pussy's life...
olarvman 5
so? some of us from different countries with less entertainment do stuff like that. we used to tie a rope to cat's tails and Dee how far we could throw them haha
beccaaaaaaaa 5
I'd take her to a doctor...that's not quite normal. Not trying to be rude or anything.
aliaskis 3
Take her to a child psychologist. This could definitely be a sign of inappropriate activities that someone might be pursuing with her. It is always better to be safe than sorry in situations like this.
RedPillSucks 33
Kids are curious. Depending on how old the child is, this could be perfectly normal. If this was a 2-5yr old, she's probably wondering what the heck is happening on the other end of the cat. If she's older than 8, .... dang! Perhaps a discussion with a trained professional might be warranted.
Honesty4U 0
My 3 year old kid and my sister's 5 year old kid know not to stick things in animal asses. It is most certainly not normal behavior for a 2-5 year old. Kids of that age should know animals poop out of there. OP's child needs serious help.
wwerulez14 6
Obviously she saw her mommy and daddy playing "hide the stick in mommy's rearend", and just wanted to play along. Amazing what important details these people leave out of their FMLs.
varp 0
dr Phil wannabe
scottovious 0
f your cats life
eternalsunlight 5
poor cat!!
miraggg 1
poor poor cat :(
ninjanate 0
poor poor poor cat
skyttlz 32
poor poor poor poor cat
kelserzzzz 0
poor poor poor poor poor cat :(
VaGino432 0
poor poor poor poor poor poor cat =)
Autoshot 9
poor poor poor poor poor poor poor cat
HighasaCloud 46
purr purr purr purr purr purr purr purr cat
dillies 3
maybe she thought it was a pencil sharpener?
DaveOnDope 4
Win!
rockhound 0
Dave, are you the OP? Did you document the event with photos and post to your profile pic?
jackirose 0
rockhound- WIN! I be you're right:D
FarSide 23
If your daughter has trying to crank the cat's tail, then I like the pencil sharpener explanation!
elitewtf 0
LOL
Feklfekl2222 32
I have a cat arse pencil sharpener!
FerrariCake 2
You didnt say how old your daughter is. That matters. If she is 6 years old, this behavior indicates the child should see a therapist. If she is 19 years old, this behavior indicates she should contact a **** talent agency.
mfmylifesrsly 30
my thoughts exactly! either way, even if she's young she'll be into either ********** or buttsecks...let's hope it's the latter.
Mr_Zachary 0
7: good god, woman! you are all about the brownies, admit it!
Cyosaric 0
Can I clean your butthole?
mfmylifesrsly 30
LOL no I think anal is so gross! I'm just saying it's better than ***********
pyro119 0
yaaaa right you know you like it in the pooper, it's ok nobody is gunna judge you ;)
thebouse7861 0
epic win
bamagrl410 31
Haha poor cat. I've never heard of a child doing this before though. What have you been teaching her?
DocBastard 40
...to stick sharp pointy things into animals? Sounds like a matador in training!
persianjr1 7
^ win
Zmeilerr 22
Monkey see monkey do.
dannyswin 0
I get it!
FreeDome_fml 0
congrats
afdude87 6
I'd hate to be her boyfriend. poor kitty
thatfrenchguy 8
I'm pretty sure the girls going to be lesbian, I mean she was obviously trying to play and pleasure a pussy that wasn't her 's.
madmadd 0
b4 I finished reading this I thought it was gonna say she was sticking pencils up her ass lll
itziltheinsane 0
If the daughter is yound then keep her away from cats, future fetish is a possibility,but if she is old maybe she was bored or just a creeeeepppoooo.
DrummerBoy21 0
Future fetish... Well I guess we know where Cat Woman came from.
RedPillSucks 33
It would only become a fetish if she associates sexual enjoyment with the act. Highly doubtful unless some pedo is stimulating her while she's sodomizing the cat.
persianjr1 7
29 win