crazycatlady
Ashland, United States
Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
JackNicholsonInChinatown
Today, like most days, my cat tried to wake me up with a gentle, fluffy paw pat on my nose. This morning, however, he managed to get his claw caught inside my nostril. FML
Anonymous
United States
Surprise, human!
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
CatLady
Canada
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
xXWhiteSheepXx
Omaha, United States
Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
The gift
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
catbum
Regina, Canada
Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML
Anonymous
Metal Cat
Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML
scratchpost
United States
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Anonymous
Atlanta, United States
Wake up call
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Anonymous
Rise and shine
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Now you're a literal ********.
nattnatt73 31
That means it loves you lol
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Comments (29)
nattnatt73 31
That means it loves you lol
One_In_Three 24
At least it wasn't on your mouth.
Dave_Davington 34
Now you're a literal ********.
kakabalo 18
that's how cats show their affection
StiffPvtParts 43
I once woke up to my cat puking hairballs on my face, but that's just me. As OP knows very well by now, cats are assholes.
Eldslibo 20
I wake up like that about twice a night, and then every morning. I rather have that, than my cats not sleeping in my bed.
SwoopingEagle 20
Welcome to the club, OP! The joys of being a cat owner...
39abc93 12
if you buy a cat you buy its asshole with it.
CastaP 12
"When you buy a cat, it's an asshole, deal with it." -to compliment the above comment somehow. :I
CastaP 12
Firmly you say? "Get off you stupid cat! *grunt*" *SCHWOOP* Also, worse yet, thinking it is the GF coming to kiss you good morning, until you remember "Wait, she doesn't use lipstick."
mfmylifesrsly 30
At least you tried.
TheNoNameGuy 20
it was funny in the beginning. then you kept going..
Rozay333 36
I think your cat coinspired with Spongebob and Patrick: "Firmly Plant It!" *Puts Ass In Owners Face*